Why Betches Love Doing Outdoor Shit

By Miss Ameribetch

It’s a common misconception that betches are strictly nocturnally social animals, but in reality, we love doing outdoor shit. Something about Vitamin D in the sun or whatever, but doing something outdoors makes us feel instantly productive and proud of ourselves.  There’s a reason brunch tastes better in outdoor seating and same goes for drinks at rooftop bars.

Being inside all day feels like a waste of time, but being outside feels like an accomplishment. That’s true even if you literally did nothing all day but lay out in the sun. Betches love doing outdoor shit because we’re always at our best, and it’s nice to know that more people can enjoy our presence because we chose to go outdoors.

If you’re a betch from the Valley, outdoor shit includes hiking and going to the beach. Sure, hiking sometimes means walking and taking Instas at a liberal pace, but whatever. Also, it’s a known fact that large landscapes make us look skinny, so bring on the hills and vistas please. Going to the beach is obviously one of our top favorite outdoor activities, because we can show off our tan while getting more tan at the same time, and we can nap as long as we want without feeling like a bum. 

If you’re a New York City betch, going to the park is as outdoor as you can get. Central Park is where everyone goes as soon as the weather hits 60 in Spring, but if you’re feeling really adventurous, you might make your way to an outdoor concert or BBQ in like Prospect Park. 

Being outdoors isn’t just reserved for nice weather though, because we love hitting the slopes just as much as summering on the lake. Building a snowman is a like building you own photo opp, and it highlights your wifability because it makes you seem great with kids.

It’s possible to trace back our predilection for doing outdoor shit to our Girl Scout days. Camping trips and horseback riding lessons instilled in us an affinity for open spaces and recreational activities.

Another reason we love the great outdoors is because it makes us seem super chill. Sure, we’ll go to Governor’s Island and ride a bicycle with you, and in exchange we’ll take credit for all endorphins you get from exercising in the sun, and we didn’t have to do any of the work.  Whether it’s Yacht Week, snowboarding, or just walking up a hill, betches love outdoor shit because it makes us feel like we have our shit together.




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