July 7, 2014
Showtime’s Californication had it’s finale on June 29th and so I apologize for the fact that I’m a little late on a critique of everything that’s wrong with how women are portrayed on the show. But if Hank Moody taught me anything it’s that my apologies are all I’ll really need to sustain the next six years of my writing career and romantic relationships. Which brings us to the elephant in the room. Why is no one talking about what a fucked up asshole Hank Moody is? Why is no one talking about how all the women on Californication (save for daughter Becca) are dumb, desperate idiots that don’t care that Hank constantly treats them like shit and then manipulates them into sleeping with them over and over again?
Seriously, like the first couple of seasons of this show were great. We got to see Hank fuck up his relationship with Karen but she fucked up too and you know what, we were really rooting for him. He was super hot, talented, and had just enough shadiness in him to keep him intriguing. But like the third day of our juice cleanse or 4 dates with a poor guy, that shit got old really fast and the only ones who couldn’t see what a truly deep asshole Hank was were, I don’t know, every fucking woman on the entire show.
This bullshit quote speaks for itself.
We get it, a lot of shit is done for shock value so we really needed to see Hank doing lines of coke off some women’s asshole and I don't know, I’m sure it was also super necessary that he fuck the underage daughter of Karen’s husband. But by season six, enough was enough. I’ve been hate-watching this show for the past three years and every episode I watch I want to scream at every female writer behind this show for taking women back 50 years and pretending that it’s totally okay to put up with a douche who treats you like shit for 20 years and then get back together with him after he reads you some bullshit letter on an airplane that he’s read about 14 versions of over the years.
Let’s not forget about Heather Graham’s character who, in addition to being annoying as fuck was totally okay with having the father of her baby fuck her a couple of times and then pretend he wanted to have dinner with her before surprising her with a date with a guy she rejected three episodes ago. Oh that’s totally chill I mean who wouldn’t be totally cool with being deceived by their babby daddy who they just made out with that morning into having dinner with crackhead Christopher from the Sopranos? Karen is Hank’s soul mate so like, he can fuck up as many times as he wants. NBD GUYS it’s totes okay to forgive a guy that perpetually tells you he loves you then fucks various other women ALL THE TIME because you know, he just has a way with words.
Californication is bullshit and its female characters are bullshit. No self respecting woman would put up with half the shit that Karen does. Sure the show may not be targeted at women, but telling millions of male viewers that it’s okay to act like a dick towards females as long as your intentions are good and your speeches are smooth is dangerous and frankly, kind of fucked up. Most guys think Hank Moody is the shit and that is because he’s portrayed as such. Men, this is not how you get the girl. This is how you wind up ODing in an alley in the Valley where the only women willing to fuck you are hookers and your sometimes-gay agent.