Why Everyone Is Freaking Out Over The New Barbie Engineering Book

By Queen Elizabetch

Barbie released a new book - even though girls playing with Barbies are either illiterate or too young to read - about Barbie being a computer engineer. And by computer engineer I mean a betch. Basically, Barbie doesn't know how to work a computer (she probs just downloaded OS X Yosemite), so she has to have her guy friends help her out. She and her little sister also have a pillow fight and Barbie likes to wear her USB as a necklace.

Feminists everywhere are freaking the fuck out, because this book is more sexist than an Eminem song. But maybe, Barbie is just playing everyone. Like maybe Barbie knows exactly how to fix her computer, but she had tickets to the Beyonce concert and knew that Steven and Brian didn't realize they'd been friendzoned the minute they started growing neck beards for No-shave November and would physically fight to help the betch out.

Sure we should teach nice and ugly girls that they can do everything just as well as boys. But shouldn't we also teach the pretty and smart betches that they can convince men to do pretty much anything if they wear lip gloss and a push-up bra? Idk why people are clogging up my timeline with this new book, because this is literally all Barbie has ever taught girls: being hot is your advantage in life, use it well.




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