July 9, 2015
There are humans and then there are the people who have their read receipts on. Tbh, we never understood why anyone would be disregard one of the few resources that we have left that optimize our ability to ignore annoying fucks.
Think about it – as technology advances, ignoring people who nuisances to society is becoming harder and harder. In the old days, you could just throw away someone’s letter when you didn’t give a shit about what they had to say. And when they confronted you about it, you could just lie and say it probably got lost in the mail. Now, if someone sends you a text, you can’t really say, “My phone isn’t working” since you posted on Instagram like 5 minutes ago.
You could try and evade questioning by lying and saying you’ve been really busy at work, but if you have your read receipts on, you’re totally shit out of luck. This leads us to wonder WHAT could possibly possess someone to turn them on in the first place. It makes sense if you’re 80 years old and want to let people know you’re still alive, but even if someone steals your phone and reads all your messages, everyone just thinks you're an asshole. Moral of the story, read receipts will royally fuck you. And not in a good way.
If you’re below the age of 80, there isn’t really a reason for you to have your read receipts on. Even middle-aged men don’t need it. How else would they avoid texts from their daughters asking if they can buy ANOTHER Triangl bathing suit on their black card? An air of mystery is so hard to achieve naturally these days. Keeping your read receipts on is basically the nail in the coffin of being the loser who treats their phone as an extra limb.
Obv there are times when you get a text and just have to open it. 95% of the time you’re not interested in what it actually says. #Ignore. The other 5% of the time, you might actually care about the content of the message, but you need to take some time to respond. You can’t have anyone thinking you’re a desperado.
Both of these scenarios prove read receipts are the enemy. You look like a bitch if you don’t answer in the former, and you just look like a try-hard in the latter (@JLo circa 2014).
You already Instagram pictures of your vacations, Snapchat story pictures of you at your boring AF job, and tweet your innermost thoughts. Leave your read receipts off and do the world (and yourself) a favor. You’re not as fascinating as you think.