June 19, 2015
We all have those people in our lives that think sending a seemingly innocent “Hey! What’s up?” text is not a big deal, but to betches that shit’s almost as bad as an email from your boss asking to come in early on Monday morning. You might be getting fired (they finally caught on you’ve been doing shit all day) and a random text is almost on that level.
If someone has something important to tell you (like inviting you to a party in the Hamptons this weekend or telling you her boyfriend cheated on her and she needs to get blackout tonight) they will cut right to the chase and not waste any of your precious time.
Because texting for no reason is the perfect example of a waste of time. IDGAF if you’re fucking bored at work or feel awkward on the train home. This is the digital form of small talk and the only thing a betch hates more than small talk is seeing that clingy friend’s name pop up on her iPhone screen asking what she’s up to. If you want to hang out, just ASK.
This same idea goes for girls who text bros for no reason except that might be worse because it violates the number 1 piece of advice anyone and everyone has given you about dating. You should appear mysterious and busy even if you spend three hours out of your day looking up pictures of cute dogs.
It’s probably the lamest thing to try and initiate a conversation with a guy you’re trying to hook up with around 2:30 PM about what you had for lunch. Text your mom instead.
That being said, if you ever have an urge to text someone for no reason you should remember how much it annoys you when your precious time is wasted over meaningless bullshit as such and check your Twitter feed or something. Does anyone even use Twitter anymore?
Just remember, you have better things in your life to worry about, like where the pregame is tonight or if Kristen dumped her shitty boyfriend yet, than having a conversation with no purpose. If you wouldn’t talk about it in person, don’t talk about it over text.
Do you think Beyoncé texts anyone for no reason? Probably fucking not so you shouldn’t either.