Why Was I Ghosted? Dear Betch| Betches

Another Day, Another Delusional Dear Betch Email

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Dear Betches,
This is kind of long, please bear with me. A couple years ago, my male best friend of 7 years got a girlfriend (who wouldn't even admit he was her boyfriend in public) and since she was my neighbor she started coming over to hangout or wait for me to get ready to go out. The thing with this bitch is that she was sly, being quite an indifferent person I never caught her actions although my sisters and other friends would always point it out. Turns out those sly moves were just her testing the waters because she started getting on my nerves with things like talking shit loudly about a person—most of the times a mature man/woman who respects me (and I respect them)—right next to them, going full Bat Shit Crazy whenever we're in public (never when we're alone) and committing the great sin of going after my crush.

First of all i would like to point out that we are both 22 years old and i've only liked 2 guys my whole life (this being the second) because I'm an antisocial nerd who plays call of duty in their free time, but still a hot nerd . I've been talking about him ever since I went to college like she KNOWS I like him And she HAS a boyfriend , but when we met at a restaurant she immediately spotted him (he was getting take out) I glanced over and he recognized me but we were not talking back then just mutual staring . I swear the girl almost launched at him she started jumping up and down and turning her whole body 180 degree in his direction openly flirting and casually saying shit like : he's so cute look he's staring at me he was staring at my eyes then at my lips *insert dreamy eyes* .... Can you believe that ? Not only did she completely throw the facts that he was MY crush and she has a BF right out of the window she almost exposed the fact that I speak about him to her .

Then in her hyperactive state she started asking about which car he has and where he lives then suggested following him home after noticing how he was dressed casually (he did in fact live very close to the restaurant, I figured later) ..... I will let you comment on this, but in case you got worried no I did not allow following guys home in my presence . After the incidence I slowly ghosted her, her actions got worse and i completely shut her out . Then my best friend and I fought because, and I motherfucking quote "I don't trust her staying faithful if she goes out with other girls, but when she's with you she won't do stupid things because she respects you" ????????? Well I stopped talking to both but when I reunited later with my best friend and made up, he jumped me , I shit you not. Of course nothing happened but he only apologized because he had a gf and up until today he begs me not to get a bf because he's planning to settle and propose to me ?????????? (Ahahahahahahaa what a fucking joke) All of this was said while he's still with her . After this incidence came the biggest blow I found out that fucker excuse of a best friend told her everything I tell him from the small everyday things to when we argued about the things that made me stop talking to her . Up until now I've only been ignoring him  and her for that matter. But he still begs me to talk to her because she has changed ever since I basically exiled her from my life "she doesn't hang out with girls anymore , shuts herself in her room most of the times and having self esteem issues" . I was like duh that's the motherfucking point . The thing is soon we'll be meeting through a mutual friend , should I go or not (the mutual friend got engaged and we're celebrating) and if I go what should I do ? (Note: I'm a nice girl but when wronged and decide to confront I fuck people up . hence why I'm hesitating and can't decide what to do, aside from the meeting)

With love, Nice betch .

too sober for this

Dear ????

What the fuck did I just read?? (I find myself asking that more times than I really should.) Readers please note, paragraph breaks were input by me because I’m not a fucking monster and didn’t want you all to go through what I just did. And I don’t mean “WTF did I just read” in like a funny way. I mean it literally. I cannot make heads or tails of WTF is going on in this scenario. Is it the excessive question marks? The lack of stress pronouns? The convoluted stream-of-consciousness totally lacking transitions? The over-description of minute details while failing to explain the bigger picture? I’ll take all of the above for $400, Alex.

So I’m going to give the only advice I can based on what I assume is happening here. I could be very wrong. If that’s the case, it’s your fault. 

OK so here’s what I think happened:

  • Your “friend” (we’ll get to that in a second, but you can probably guess what I’m going to say about that) started dating a BSCB
  • “Friend” forced you to become friends with his BSCB gf
  • BSCB is sort of crazy in that she basically cheats on her BF (or tries to??) every chance she gets
  • You’re in fucking middle school despite claiming to be 22 years old because you have a “crush” on a guy who you’ve obviously never spoken to and are weirdly fucking territorial about and you say shit like “Can you believe that ? Not only did she completely throw the facts that he was MY crush and she has a BF right out of the window she almost exposed the fact that I speak about him to her.” For the record, I’m not following the logic at all about how she almost “exposed” you when, by your account, SHE was the one “flirting” with him, but okay. I'M ALSO NOT SEEING HOW THIS IS AT ALL RELEVANT TO THE ISSUE AT HAND. Or really what the issue at hand is. 

Also, what’s up with this? “I swear the girl almost launched at him she started jumping up and down and turning her whole body 180 degree in his direction openly flirting” I have no fucking idea what you’re describing. Generally, if someone is facing the opposite direction from you and you want to talk to them, doing so does require turning around. Sometimes, gasp, a full 180 degrees.

Oh yeah, also this: "After this incidence came the biggest blow I found out that fucker excuse of a best friend told her everything I tell him from the small everyday things to when we argued about the things that made me stop talking to her." Of course he would tell his girlfriend if you're talking shit about her, that's called communicating and being a good S.O.?? So you're mad your friend isn't prioritizing your feelings over his girlfriend's? You sound delusional AF. WTF am I gonna do with you?

AND, what do you mean that your friend “jumped” you? Did he, like, mug you? Try to low-key sexually assault you? “Of course nothing happened but he only apologized because he had a gf and up until today he begs me not to get a bf because he's planning to settle and propose to me ?????????? (Ahahahahahahaa what a fucking joke) All of this was said while he's still with her.”

Ohhhhh okay, I get it. You have a guy “friend” who wants to fuck you. WHAT A FUCKING SURPRISE. I knew this was the case once I read “guy” and “best friend” in the same sentence, but I decided to humor you. That’s a fucking oxymoron. So yeah. All your incoherent babbling aside, yes you should absolutely go celebrate your friend’s engagement—just don't talk to your guy "friend" and his gf while you're there. They both sound fucking dramatic. You all do. After that, get rid of these people because—once a-fucking-gain—this guy is NOT your friend. Come the fuck on. Maybe get off the video games and get some IRL friends who aren’t biding their time until they can fuck you.

Unnecessarily long kisses,

The Betches

 

Dear Betch,

Met this guy on hinge and we talked every day for about 2 weeks and finally hung out. We instantly clicked and I just thought he was so great. I am usually one to pick up on vibes and can tell if someone is into me or not. I could tell the feelings were mutual and we were both into each other. The next weekend we hung out pretty much all day and we had a great time (at least I thought). He was telling me he couldn't wait until I visited him in Hoboken (where he was moving in a week where I also helped him pick out his furniture for his room). I legitimately thought we were going to start dating. We talked every day for another two weeks. Then one night I went to bed and said goodnight to him and the next day I never heard from him. I ended up texting him the day after and he never answered... I ended up texting him two days later and he never answered again. I have never been "ghosted" before and never been this confused over a guy. I keep trying to replay everything in my head trying to see if I missed any signs that he wasn't into me but I can't figure it out. LOL remember when he asked me to help him pick out his furniture? Me too...so weird. I just don't know what to think of this situation and need some clarity because I'm great and he should have been obsessed with me.

Sincerely,
Ghosted and confused

Sigh,

Let’s see, looking into my crystal ball, the reasons I was able to deduce for this guy ghosting you are as follows:

crystal ball

Are you fucking kidding me, do you think I can read minds? I’m not bulimic. I have no idea why this guy ghosted you, and it doesn’t really matter why. Unless you’re really insane and you give off vibes that you’d burn your name into this dude’s front lawn, it's probably not personal; he just wasn’t feeling it. Doesn’t matter why—won't change the fact that he's a goner. Maybe he just wanted a free interior design consult. Dust yourself off, move on, stop worrying about questions you will never know the answer to. 

Why are you hung up on a guy who lives in Jersey?

The Betches

Got a fucked-up problem only The Betches can solve? Fiiiiiine, email us at [email protected] and we just might drag you. For some less public humiliation, buy our second book.




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