November 20, 2014
We’ve already discussed Thanksgiving, but the holidays are more than just a time for family, they’re also a time to hang out with friends you already hang out with all the time, but with more food involved. We’re talking about Friendsgiving - a holiday that betches celebrate as an excuse to get blackout in an exclusive setting outside of a club.
Friendsgiving is much like prom in that you’ll get invited to other people’s in addition to your own. Due to its intimate nature, being invited to a Friendsgiving is usually reserved for inner circle only, but as a betch you’ll be much in demand. When a bro invites you to his Friendsgiving dinner, you know it’s because all his friends already love you since Thanskgiving is a time to celebrate old friendships, not make new ones. Also, just because you get invited to someone’s Friendsgiving doesn’t mean you have to invite them to yours. Just like prom.
The betchiest part of Friendsgiving is the group chats that happen around it. Questions need to be answered, like “What are you wearing?” or “What should I bring?” or “Should we invite Sarah even though she hasn’t like been around?”
A betch does not need to cook for Thanksgiving. You can’t go wrong with bringing alcohol, and if all your besties end up bringing a bottle of wine instead of an entree, I mean, is that bad? If you must bring real food, get a pie from Whole Foods and call it a day. Remember, you’re going to have a real Thanksgiving meal in less than a week, so realistic Thanksgiving food is not the goal of this.
The goal of this is to get drunk. We repeat, it is not to eat turkey. There should not even be a turkey at Friendsgiving. Like, nobody ever finishes a turkey at Thanksgiving, so let’s not get ambitious here. Just stick to mashed potatoes and whiskey and you’ll do great.
In conclusion, Friendsgiving is a betchy time to get together with your besties, talk about yourselves, get blackout drunk, and exclude everybody else. Sometimes there's food there.