July 8, 2015
We can guarantee that you’ve pregamed to the song “Trap Queen.” Or listened to Ed Sheeran’s cover because despite being ugly AF, Ed has the voice of an angel. When he sings about dealing drugs and shit, it’s like you almost forget he’s a pale ginger with a British accent.
The mastermind behind this song that every white girl ever has used for an Instagram caption (because a photo of you and your three best friends who shop at Bloomingdales and wear Tory Burch flats is a perfect depiction of trap queens) is Fetty Wap and you should know his name.
Fetty, originally from Paterson, NJ (a place you never go if you car doesn’t have automatic locks and maybe a bulletproof windshield), had a really rough childhood growing up, even losing his left eye to glaucoma. It’s really sad and shit so don’t go googling pictures of him if you’re in a work environment. Looking up pictures of famous rappers with their left eye missing is definitely a red flag and since you’re already pretending to look busy on Excel, it won’t help your case.
This guy is the ultimate SAB because he hasn’t actually released his songs onto iTunes to buy. Instead, he is basically running shit on SoundCloud, hitting almost 80 million plays of, you already know, Trap Queen.
All the bros in your life have been obsessed with him recently, using the lyrics he writes (or pays someone to write for him) as their 10 commandments on how to live a great life, fuck bitches, get money, etc, They like to pretend adopting Fetty’s mentality is legit and they would do anything for their Squa (so creatively missing the last letter in D, to show a deep level of friendship), but you know they still have their mom wash their khaki shorts and pastel collared shirt and book their dentist appointments.
Unlike Monty, I highly doubt any girls actually would ask these bros to be their baby daddies.
Bottom line is Fetty isn’t going away so you should probably start listening to his shit and pretending to know what 1738 means. We compiled a list of other up and coming Fetty songs so you don’t look like the true basic white girl in the room who still requests Big Sean.
2. RGF Island
3. How we do thangs
4. My way.