The Most Absurd Winter Wear Of 2016

By Cleobetchra

So unfortunately winter is coming, the little bitch. And what does that mean? It means eight months ago the execs at Free People and Nasty Gal stat down and asked themselves how many neon pom-poms could fit on a single sock and whether a three foot knit poncho train would be a good call. We bring you: the most absurd of winterwear 2016.

Free People Penny Velvet Catsuit | $450

This looks like something a young Hillary Clinton would wear to make an ex jealous while home for the holidays and no. Just no. 


 Free People Nicholas K Athena Sweater | $946  

Aside from being ugly, this is essentially just a $1,000 fitted blanket. This isn't Goop.

Free People The Perfect Cardigan | $198

‘Perfect’ seems like a bit of a stretch. Someone please clue me into an appropriate occasion to wear this sea foam loofa.

Free People Loop The Loop T Neck Pullover | $298

If you wanted to wear your Grandma’s carpet in an ill-fitting turtleneck dress with XL jersey sleeves and pay $300 to do it: here's your shot!

Nasty Gal Renaissance Woman Bell Sleeve Velvet Top | $68

Here’s a real part of history: a frontal corset Dracula crop top! So authentic Renaissance.

Nasty Gal Murano Crop Sweater | $88 

I’m not sure why they’re selling this because everyone already has this from the third grade.

Nasty Gal Mila Metallic Dress | $538

Finally an ill-fitting one sleeved blue velvet party dress!

Thank Free People and Nasty Gal, for my seasonal giggle. Can’t wait for the spring. 




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