December 5, 2014
It’s come to world’s attention that there is a new trend happening: coloring armpit hair. Because who needs natural hair, when you can have teal hair, amiright? As if the whole “taste the rainbow” thing wasn’t fucking annoying with actual hair, now bitches everywhere are dyeing their armpit hair. When will it stop?
Much like any weird experimentation with the female body, women are calling it “empowering” and “inspiring.” Which is all fine and good and feminism fuck yeah, buuuuuut, I’m not sure that it’s really that inspiring, just more confusing. Like is coloring your underarms pink really making a difference in the world? Does anyone really give a shit? Are people actually thinking “wow, check out that girl and her blue armpits. How cool, she’s such an activist.” Probs not. Most people probably think an animal died under your arms and are probs concerned.
Nevertheless, it’s a trend that I will 100% not be hopping on board with. At the rate we’re going, eventually girls are going to be dying their leg and arm hair and we’re all going to start looking like fucking furbies roaming the streets. Let’s just all take a lap and calm down on the chemically coloring of body parts, it’s getting so old. I blame you, Kylie Jenner.