The U.S. Olympic Gymnastics Team Ranked By Their Real Housewife Alter Egos | Betches

The U.S. Olympic Gymnastics Team Ranked By Their Real Housewife Alter Egos

By Betches Staff

Every four years, Americans get super psyched about the Olympics aka a worldwide competition of a bunch of sports we usually don’t give a shit about. I mean, when was the last time you and your friends tailgated a fucking synchronized swimming match (Competition? Performance? Idk). Never, that’s when. And while all typically irrelevant sports get the Super Bowl treatment, nothing gets us more hyped than women’s gymnastics.


Well last night, the final five were picked to head to Rio in a few weeks and bring home gold. That’s right. I didn’t say “attempt to” or “maybe” bring home gold because these girls are bad AF and huge favorites to win the whole damn thing. But tbh, up until a month ago when we started getting into Olympics mode, most people had never even heard of them.

So to make sure you don’t look like an idiot at Olympics viewing parties, we decided to give you a rundown of these betchy athletes in terms we all understand: The Real Housewives.

Like Bethenny, Simone is a boss-ass betch and pretty much steals the show. Even when she’s not at her best, she beats everyone by a fucking mile. While most of the time this is annoying AF, both of them pull it off and we’re all still obsessed with them. They’re both crazy successful at what they do, ya know, easy stuff like Bethenny running a multimillion dollar company and Simone not losing a meet since 2013. What? Like it’s hard?



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LET IT OUT, HONEY

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