April 7, 2014
Many betches will agree that #3 studying abroad was, like, the BEST decision we ever made. Before we post another #tbt of the Duomo, we wanted to take a minute to reflect on some of the not-so-great moments that came along with our 6 month, all expenses paid
vacation educational opportunity. Take note, college betches, and prepare for a few months of skipping class, electrical outlets that don’t work, and handsy European men. Ugghh, take me backkkk!
Here are some common mistakes betches make abroad:
Finding a sexy hook named “Paolo” or “Pierre” is easy enough, but definitely involves running away from a million creepers in the process. DO NOT MAKE EYE CONTACT. So much as look at some bro and he’ll be waiting around the corner all night just waiting to say “Ciao, bella!” and grab your ass.
Once you do find a non-creeper, post hook up you’ll realize that getting home the next morning might involve public transpo and that riding the Parisian metro at 7 AM can make for like, the worst walk of shame of your life (Side note: the French are judgy as fuck). Even so, don’t feel bad for being a little slutty. What happens abroad, stays abroad….unless you did end up giving in to some creeper. That’s embarrassing and your besties will probably tell everyone about it back home.
Why buy a bottle of Evian for 5 euros when a bottle of merlot is only 2!? Sooner rather than later, this will catch up to you and the smell of white wine will only remind you of vomming in the bushes near the London Eye. At some point, you’ll start to accept a constant hangover as an important part of your study abroad experience, you know, once the dry heaving goes away.
Remember when you told your mom that studying abroad in Firenze was totally going to help you with your Italian skills? L-O-L. Everyone knows you are American and your language skills fucking suck. I mean, it’s not your fault you can’t so much as say “Mi Scusi” without someone responding “The Trevi Fountain is to your right.” The solution? Actually pay attention in your Italian 101 class…or like, only hangout with Americans, whatever’s easiest.
You’ll probs sleep in too late at least once and miss a class trip to some monument or something. The nerdy girl in your class will tell you that you missed out on sooo much, but you were probs too hungover to pretend to care about art history anyway.
Even though you’re walking everywhere, a constant diet of carbs, sodium-filled water, and wine does not a skinny betch make. Fix this shit ASAP. You do not want to go home and have everyone see that those Nutella crepes went straight to your ass.
So for all the betches who are currently abroad, enjoy it while you can. Your semester long vacay may be expensive, but your sky diving pics from Interlaken are fucking priceless. And remember, no matter how bad you faux pas, you'll still have a better time in Italy than Amanda Knox.