WTF Is This New Sketch Factor App?

By Sgt. Olivia Betchson

There's a new app called SketchFactor, and I wish I could say that it's the new Tinder, but sadly no.

Are you venturing to a new neighborhood, and you're worried it's dangerous, but you're also too lazy to look up its crime statistics? Have you ever asked, "if you're from Africa, why are you white?" Then boy, is there an app for you.

With SketchFactor, you can determine how shady an area is by reading other peoples' general impressions. It's like Yelp, but instead of avoiding a certain hairstylist who might botch your highlight job, you can avoid a neighborhood where your iPhone might get stolen. But you still might lose it when you get blackout tonight... at least you can track it if it's turned on.

But wait--how do you decide what's "sketchy"? Is it the presence of minorities? The number of abandoned buildings? Your likelihood of getting stabbed? Well, the beauty of SketchFactor--and the definition of the word "sketch" itself--is it's all up to you.

"But wait," you (and many other people) might be asking, "isn't that shadily kind of racist?" Well...maybe. In all honesty, probably. But is it the app's fault that the term sketchy is inherently subjective? Are people racist because neighborhoods are sketchy, or are neighborhoods sketchy because people are racist? Do I hate you because you're fat, or are you fat because I hate you? Finally, even if it is prejudiced, do you really want racists rolling through your neighborhood? I think it's safe to say that this is one situation where it's okay to hate the player.

SketchFactor gives a whole new meaning to the phrase, "there's an app for that." Now you can crowd source your sense of personal safety to a bunch of strangers who may or may not share your priorities. It's truly revolutionary. I mean who needs to ask people you know and trust when you can open your iPhone and read some rando's unsubstantiated claims?

So in short, SketchFactor has everything you need for your night walking needs. Unless you're looking for hard facts and empirical data. In which case, this is not the app for that.




Powered by Disqus




Forgot Your Password?

Create new account

User login