May 5, 2014
Let me tell you something about Rob Ford. He was actually elected Mayor of Toronto. I know, right? It's so embarrassing. Last week, in the least surprising turn of events ever, a new video surfaced of Rob Ford smoking crack…again. As of now, our fave shady Canadian bro is leaving office to “seek help” for substance abuse. Now THAT sounds like an episode of Celebrity Rehab we’d actually watch.
Besides being the only thing that could ever make us pay attention to Canadian politics (or Canadians in general), the Rob Ford scandal has been one of the most ridiculous/ hilarious/ best demonstrations of shadiness that we’ve ever fucking seen. In light of recent events, we thought we’d take a look back on the antics of this shady fat bro.
May 16th, 2013: Two news papers report a video that shows Rob Ford smoking crack, hanging with drug dealers, and making racist and homophobic comments. A typical Saturday night.
May 17th, 2013: Rob’s all like “That so wasn’t me!” His lawyer responds to the allegations by saying you cannot see who exactly is smoking crack in the video. At least he was smart enough to not speak without a parent or lawyer present.
November 5th, 2013: Ford admits to smoking crack cocaine in “One of [his] drunken stupors” because apparently, “Sorry I was blackout” is a legitimate excuse in Canada. When reporters accuse him of lying he responds by saying, “I wasn’t lying. You just didn’t ask the right questions.” Talk about being shady as fuck.
November 7th, 2013: Another video surfaces. Rob responds by saying he was “extremely” blackout and is “extremely” embarrassed.
November, 2013-January, 2014: A shit storm of more videos, shadiness, and allegations. He swears on live TV, had apparently been drunk at work, and was both drunk driving and hanging out with hookers. He’s a great example of a politician and refuses to leave office.
March 3rd, 2014: Rob Ford goes on Jimmy Kimmel. I mean, sober or not, he needed to take advantage of his 15 minutes of fame!
“I'm glad that you are here, but WHY are you here? What good could come of this? Have you ever seen this show?” – Jimmy Kimmel
April 30th, 2014: Canada was like, "Ford, we can’t have you be Mayor of Toronto, because we think you're a crack addict." And then he dropped out of office because no one would talk to him, and now I guess he’s trying to stop doing crack. He's in a better place now, aka rehab.
We’ll see how long that lasts…