WTF To Do With Thanksgiving Leftovers

By Betchy Crocker

Are sweatpants all that fits you right now? Did you ignore my warnings and indulge in mashed potatoes, bread soaked in turkey drippings, and marshmallow crusted yams?

Well watch where you're going fatass, cause I assume there are leftovers.

But this isn't a totally terrible turn of events. I mean, you can temper the leftovers with salad and steamed veggies so it's not like gorge fest part two. I'm going to help you out with some fucking recipes to turn those leftovers into something other than Thanksgiving casserole bound together with mayonnaise and shame.

1. Mashed potato pancakes with cranberry sauce reduction


  • 1/3 cup chives or green onions
  • 2 cups mashed potatoes (that are like, cold)
  • 2 tbsps shredded sharp cheddar cheese or gruyere cheese
  • Pinch of salt
  • Pinch of pepper
  • 1 tbsp cooked and crumbled pancetta or bacon
  • ¾ cup panko (those are Japanese breadcrumbs)

Preheat your oven to 425F. Over medium heat, coat a large nonstick skillet with cooking spray. Add the onions and cook until they're tender, stirring occasionally. Remove from heat. Place the leftover mashed potatoes in a big-ish bowl. Stir in the cooked onions, cheese, salt, pepper, and pancetta.

Divide the concoction into six equal portions, shaping each blob into a not-gross patty – about ½ inch thick. Place your breadcrumbs in a shallow dish and dredge the patties, then place the patties on a greased baking sheet and cook for 12 minutes. Turn the patties over and cook an ADDITIONAL 12 minutes or until golden. Viola. Oh and these only have like 120 calories each and like 20g of carbs, so there.

For the reduction, you’ll need about ½ cup of leftover cranberry sauce – and it has to be the povo canned kind. Get it in a saucepan with 2 cups of cranberry juice (which I assume you have on hand, Regina), 2 tbsps sugar, and a few dashes of bitters (the kind you have on hand for fancy drinks). Boil everything for a few minutes until smooth, then simmer over low heat stirring occasionally for about 20 minutes or until the liquid is reduced by half. Top your mashed potato cakes with this shit if you’re into it, or use it as a kind of sauce over that dried out turkey you still have. Speaking of which:

2. Turkey “Nachos”


  • 1 cup leftover shredded turkey
  • ½ cup fresh cilantro
  • ½ cup chipotle salsa
  • ½ cup reduced fat shredded cheddar cheese
  • Diced avocado
  • Diced fresh tomato
  • Fat free sour cream
  • Tortilla chips

Lay out tortilla chips then like sprinkle the cheese over the top. I assume you’ve made fucking nachos before. In a small bowl, mix together the cilantro, turkey, and salsa. Spoon the concoction over the cheese and chips. Place in the oven at 325F and cook until cheese is melted and bubbly. Remove from the oven and top with avocado, chopped fresh tomatoes, and fat free sour cream. Eat this while you watch something sad.

Get creative with the rest of your fucking leftovers. Try making soup with the turkey meat – even chili would suffice. This isn’t rocket science.




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