Dear Betch... | Betches

Dear Betch...

By The Betches

As much as we love reading your emails, some of them are just fucking absurd. So, to spare you some time, here are teasers of a few:


Subject:

What is your take on hipsters?

 

Do betches share clothes with their besties?”

Are cigs betchy?

Can you be a betch and a virgin at the same time?

Is it betchy to be a jew?

We thought this one was worth it to show the entire email:

 

It’s so unbetchy to spell things wrong. like, just because we don't read doesn't mean we aren't way smarter and wittier than our peers. that being said, please use the possessive "its contents" in this sentence instead of "it's"!!!

"They can like, touch a wand piece of wood and identify it’s contents as unicorn hair, dragon heartstring, and fucking hazelnut, as well as who the owner is, but Hermione can’t BBM text (sorry, old habit) Harry to warn him that Voldemort’s coming?"

love and #41 fake smiles,

an ivy league betch who def had better things to do at midnight than wait in line for a movie

Dear All,

Asking "am I a betch?" or "is (blank) betchy?" is extremely unbetchy. For the millionth time, betchiness is not entirely about what you like and hate. It's mostly about your attitude. Part of that attitude is knowing you're a betch and not needing to ask. Betches are not insecure, that’s what makes us superior. We're not stupid, we have it together, and that's what differentiates a betch from your run of the mill sorostitute or typical dumb biddy.

Speaking of dumb biddies, you cannot tell us what's betchy or unbetchy. We invented betchy, calling our opinions unbetchy is retarded. Would you call up Alexander Graham Bell and tell him what he invented wasn’t the telephone?

If you disagree that's cool, we live in a free country and no one's forcing you to read. We're not saying you have to listen to us, but you should think about why so many people do. Disputing what we think means you care too much.

So keep reading, keep commenting, and keep being betches. Remember, it's not called Angry Bitches Love this Site.

Sincerely,

The Betches

 

P.S.

It's so unbetchy... To email blog writers about spelling. We're sure your ivy league education taught you about the phenomenon that is a typo.

We know ours did.

 

---------------

Hey betches, so obviously i have the newest iphone in white because i'm a betch. but i'm on the search for the betchiest ringtones possible because obviously i need something loud and obnoxious and i mean, betchy, to draw as much attention to it as possible. help.

xo, betch who's tired of hearing the fucking iphone marimba ringtone every 5 minutes

 

Dear betch who’s tired,

Really?

Sincerely,

The Betches

 

 

 

 

Next Dear Betch... >>

As much as we love reading your emails, some of them are just fucking absurd. So, to spare you some time, here are teasers of a few:

Subject:

What is your take on hipsters?

 

Do betches share clothes with their besties?”

Are cigs betchy?

Can you be a betch and a virgin at the same time?

Is it betchy to be a jew?

We thought this one was worth it to show the entire email:

 

It’s so unbetchy to spell things wrong. like, just because we don't read doesn't mean we aren't way smarter and wittier than our peers. that being said, please use the possessive "its contents" in this sentence instead of "it's"!!!

"They can like, touch a wand piece of wood and identify it’s contents as unicorn hair, dragon heartstring, and fucking hazelnut, as well as who the owner is, but Hermione can’t BBM text (sorry, old habit) Harry to warn him that Voldemort’s coming?"

love and #41 fake smiles,

an ivy league betch who def had better things to do at midnight than wait in line for a movie

Dear All,

Asking "am I a betch?" or "is (blank) betchy?" is extremely unbetchy. For the millionth time, betchiness is not entirely about what you like and hate. It's mostly about your attitude. Part of that attitude is knowing you're a betch and not needing to ask. Betches are not insecure, that’s what makes us superior. We're not stupid, we have it together, and that's what differentiates a betch from your run of the mill sorostitute or typical dumb biddy.

Speaking of dumb biddies, you cannot tell us what's betchy or unbetchy. We invented betchy, calling our opinions unbetchy is retarded. Would you call up Alexander Graham Bell and tell him what he invented wasn’t the telephone?

If you disagree that's cool, we live in a free country and no one's forcing you to read. We're not saying you have to listen to us, but you should think about why so many people do. Disputing what we think means you care too much.

So keep reading, keep commenting, and keep being betches. Remember, it's not called Angry Bitches Love this Site.

Sincerely,

The Betches

 

P.S.

It's so unbetchy... To email blog writers about spelling. We're sure your ivy league education taught you about the phenomenon that is a typo.

We know ours did.

 

---------------

Hey betches, so obviously i have the newest iphone in white because i'm a betch. but i'm on the search for the betchiest ringtones possible because obviously i need something loud and obnoxious and i mean, betchy, to draw as much attention to it as possible. help.

xo, betch who's tired of hearing the fucking iphone marimba ringtone every 5 minutes

 

Dear betch who’s tired,

Really?

Sincerely,

The Betches

 

 

 

 

Next Dear Betch... >>




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LET IT OUT, HONEY

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