YAASS Clueless Is Becoming A Musical

By Betch Waldorf

Clueless, the classic movie that made me the betch I am today, is being turned into a musical for all betches to enjoy. I’m totally crazy in love rn.

All our disco-dancing, Oscar Wilde-reading, Streisand ticket-holding, friends of Dorothy in the musical business must have had a little gay betchy protest and convinced people to invest in a play about this life-changing film. They already did it with Legally Blonde, so it’s like a done deal. Get a Broadway show based off a chick flick? What, like it’s hard?

Amy Heckerling, the OG betch who created the movie is also planning the musical- so the song “Rollin’ With the Homies” fucking better be in it. Or some Billie Holiday, I love him. Obvi, it’s going to be hard to cast all those amazing people from the original, but I swear to fucking god if Adele Deezem is given an role I will literally die. That’s like, way harsh Tai.

It’s a good thing this shit is happening because we were getting so tired of seeing the typical theatre like Hamlet or Wicked. Like, it’s good to act classy for a quick evening at the theater, but it’s nice to finally feel like our betchiness and love for the performing arts can finally become one. “To thine own self be true” – Hamlet. No, that Polonius guy said that.

If you’re not excited about this prospect, you’re a virgin who can’t drive/appreciate quality films.





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