You Can Now Vape Essential Oils, But You're The Worst And We're Judging You

If you were looking for a new way to prove you're an asshole, you can vape essential oils.

Essential oils are bullshit. Rubbing some garbage liquid cinnamon on your toes won't cure your headache—a glass of wine and a Xanax will, though. Fuck your fake science.

Even if you want to rub some lavender on your wrists before yoga class and force your fragrance preference on me for an hour, I'll usually let it slide. You're an asshole for forcing that smell on others who didn't ask for it, but whatever. You're still less of an asshole than the girl who decides to whip out a vape pen and fucking vape essential oils in downward dog, aka these bitches:

An ad for this bullshit idea recently came up on my Facebook feed, which is weird because I'm aggressively uninterested in vaping and/or essential oils. Anyway, I was only slightly offended Mark Zuckerburg subjected me to this nonsense, but that led me to think, exactly what kind of asshole are they trying to market to? Someone who is interested in their health but also interested in smoking something that has an unknown profile of adverse health effects? That's a dirty gamble most actual health nuts probably wouldn't take.




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