Young People Won't Stop Fucking In Montauk | Betches

Young People Won't Stop Fucking In Montauk

By Jane Duh

Betches getting ready for a hot-as-fuck summer vacay in in the Hamptons might want to re-think their plans. Apparently the previously betches-only summer spot has been overrun by a hoard of dirty, man-bunny hipsters who want to have some super vintage (like, prehistoric) sex by fucking outside in plain view of Hamptons residents.


The NY Post reports, that year-round Hamptons locals (in other news: there are people who live in the Hamptons year-round) are getting pretty fucking tired of the blackout drunk “pests” who showed up for the 4th of July, got totally obliterated (which is their right, as Americans), and fucked outside (not actually allowed, even in #63 America), like in front of kids and shit.

So, like most old people, residents of Montauk aired their grievances at a Town Board meeting where they reportedly lamented the fact that “Montauk is turning into Hampton Bays,” which is a passive aggressive way of saying “poor people are coming into our town and fucking on our streets and ruining our rich people shit.”

So what do hipsters pissing in bushes and fucking on the street have to do with us? Well Hamptonites, who are tired of walking around in cum and piss, have gone so far as to ask officials to consider forcing bars to stop serving alcohol by 2am----aka letting ISIS win.

So thanks hipsters, you’ve ruined Montauk just like you ruined hot coffee. Bravo.

Betches getting ready for a hot-as-fuck summer vacay in in the Hamptons might want to re-think their plans. Apparently the previously betches-only summer spot has been overrun by a hoard of dirty, man-bunny hipsters who want to have some super vintage (like, prehistoric) sex by fucking outside in plain view of Hamptons residents.

The NY Post reports, that year-round Hamptons locals (in other news: there are people who live in the Hamptons year-round) are getting pretty fucking tired of the blackout drunk “pests” who showed up for the 4th of July, got totally obliterated (which is their right, as Americans), and fucked outside (not actually allowed, even in #63 America), like in front of kids and shit.

So, like most old people, residents of Montauk aired their grievances at a Town Board meeting where they reportedly lamented the fact that “Montauk is turning into Hampton Bays,” which is a passive aggressive way of saying “poor people are coming into our town and fucking on our streets and ruining our rich people shit.”

So what do hipsters pissing in bushes and fucking on the street have to do with us? Well Hamptonites, who are tired of walking around in cum and piss, have gone so far as to ask officials to consider forcing bars to stop serving alcohol by 2am----aka letting ISIS win.

So thanks hipsters, you’ve ruined Montauk just like you ruined hot coffee. Bravo.




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LET IT OUT, HONEY

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