June 4, 2015
Smile. Don’t smile. What faces you should be making in your Snapchats.
Warning: This is not for those with resting bitch face…you need more help than we can give you. However, if you’re able to make more than one facial expression then listen up.
Before we get into the specifics on which faces are and aren’t appropriate for a given snap, be sure to never forget the GOLDEN RULE of the app.
There is no reason to ever have a snapchat longer than five seconds. In fact, no one needs to see anything for longer than five seconds. Analyzing looks is for Insta. Snapchat is to be flashy AF. People that send snapchats for longer than this are missing crucial brain cells and are more often than not the same type of people that make Facebook statuses asking for lowcal sushi options.
The Golden Rule also saves your ass if you send a snap that is questionable at best (mostly when you’re faded). When shots are involved we even urge you to go for the one second option to avoid any potential screenshots.
Ok now betch, you’re gonna learn today.
Never misunderstand the crucial impact a particular face can make. The expressions that a betch projects in her snap says a lot about her current lifestyle and the wrong one can be detrimental for her reputation. We’re striving for
Jesus fucking Christ, we hate to even have to point this out. No. Never. If you thought to raise the question on whether or not a duck face is acceptable then you too are in need of more help then we can offer. Do you want people to think you have an STD? Do you want people to assume you went to community college? Duck faces can and will get you pregnant. Betches know better.
This can be a betch’s best friend. The big grin is different than a normal smile for several reasons. Although the smile is over-the-top, it shows people you weren’t trying hard to look good (But you clearly still look good obvviiiii). You also look like you are enjoying life to the fullest and would even be willing to tip the SBux barista who always spells your name wrong just because you feel like she takes the bus to work. When going with the big grin make sure it’s not just a selfie…you better be doing something fabulous.
Give us a fucking minute to explain. While it might come as a surprise, the eyes closed snap is one of the most versatile faces in the game right now. Their greatest use is for blackout nights. They avoid people seeing just how fucked up you looked because you are purposely closing your eyes. Usually you should put some type of hand gesture in the snap too so it doesn’t look like you’re dead. Also you obviously need to do something with your mouth. A half smile works here. The eyes closed could also be combined with the big grin. It is the most efficient way to send out zero fucks given zibes. You’re welcome.
Have some standards.
Happy snapping betches.