Turns out that your healthy dinner of salmon and vegetables could be making you skinny not because it's healthy or whatever, but because it's full of your favorite kind of appetite suppressant: cocaine!
Researchers from US National Oceanic and Atmosphere Foundation discovered cocaine in some salmon off the northwestern Washington coast, which is mostly surprising because everyone know's that there's like no coke in Washington. You have to go to California or NY for that.
As if you needed another reason to consume more salmon, there's a bevy of other drugs up in these fillets. Advil, Prozac, Benadryl, Oxycodone. Basically, name any combination of drugs that you tried at Coachella last year, and the US National Oceanic and Atmosphere Foundation probably found a version of that concoction in your salmon.
^^ Tasty and fun!!
Now we all know what this means. Salmon for dinner everyone!