August 7, 2015
Okay, I’m sorry for reminding you that back-to-school is right around the corner. There are some good things that come with going back though, like new clothes and the hopeful outlook of all the hilarious and hot hook-ups you will have.
We all know that college girls should only really date bros that are pretty much guaranteed to turn into pros, or just actual pros, but sometimes you need to throw in a few randos to spice things up and make for better stories. Here’s your school year hit it and quit it check list:
Okay, no one actually wants to be the pathetic groupie that gets off on that whole rock star vibe. But if a musician winks and you’ve had a few, go for it. He’s probably at least decent in bed because that whole “musicians sleep around a lot” stereotype is true. (Stereotypes exist for a reason, people!) Just make sure you check and check again that you’re using protection.
Someone once told me to never date athletes, I can get behind that advice, but that doesn’t mean you can’t appreciate their exquisite human forms from a very close proximity. I’m talking actual sexy athletes at your school here: football, basketball, soccer, lacrosse, etc. Don’t hook up with a dude on the golf team just for his hot bod (which only exists in your weirdo imagination). That’s a waste of one of your numbers. Stereotype you worry about with athletes: they’re cheaters. Date at your own risk; hook up for your own pleasure. Find a six-pack, lick it, move on.
Ok so these are like, the most basic school stereotypes ever, but stick around here with me. I’m not talking about suspenders and glasses nerd, even though glasses can be pretty hot. I’m looking at you Rick Perry, JK that’s gross. The hook up I’m talking about here is with a modern, cool, sexy in a nerdy way, AV Club type nerd. The warning here is that he’ll probably think he’s smarter than you but won’t care because you’re the hottest girl he’s ever been with. He’ll work really hard at trying to please you and sometimes it’s nice to not be expected to give very much in return.
We know compatibility matters in relationships, but we’re not talking about relationships here, are we? If he’s good looking, is paying for your drinks and is making you laugh, who cares if you don't like the same dumb music or have a similar Netflix queue. Variety is the spice of life and your go-to fuck buddies have probably been getting a little stale..