Zayn Malik recently did an interview with Glamour in honor of his first solo tour and proved one thing for damn sure: he can use sarcasm as well as any other eighth grader out there. With absolute flying colors he demonstrated his ability to evade innocent questions with sass, appear apathetic about basically everything and, as a bonus, allude to the fact that he smokes weed in a painfully obvious way. It’s all so perfect that I wonder if he legitimately outsourced his answers to every boy we went to middle school with. We’ll give him the benefit of the doubt for now though, and take a look at some of our favorite excerpts:
First thing you like to do after a performance? Pay homage to Bob Marley.
Bruuuuuhhhhh!! You smoke reefer?? Sick dude, respect!!
First time you realized you wanted to break off from 1D and go off on your own? An alien spoke to me in a dream….
“Alien” is a loose term for powerful music producer, obvi.
Wow. OK. First time you really felt like an adult? Just yesterday.
That was a trick question, Zayn.
First failure? Wearing pastel colors.
Who is he kidding? He looks great in pastels.
First thing you do when you’re with old friends? We do this weird thing: We communicate with words.
I don’t even believe you though.
How novel! First time you realized you’d made it as a musician? Have I made it? That’s cool.
“Oh is a solo album debuting at #1 on Billboard considered success? I guess it doesn’t suck to be worth $40 million. If you’re into that sort of thing.”