Zoodles With Bolognese Because We're On A No-Carb Diet

By Betchy Crocker

So like, we’ve frequently sung the praises of Mr. Atkins and his groundbreaking diet. Is it totally recommended by nutritionists and people who actually study this shit? No, but can you lose 3 lbs in a week? You bet!

Simple swaps like replacing rice with some sort of cauliflower powder or noodles with some sort of spiralized veggie can save you more than 200 calories. That way, you won’t feel as bad when you splurge on some kind of delicious sauce like the meat-laden Bolognese.

Making zoodles isn’t hard. We adapted the Bolognese from Italian skinny betch, Giada, so you know it’s good.


  • 2 medium zucchini
  • 2 tbsps olive oil
  • Salt and pepper

For the sauce

  • 2 tbsps extra virgin olive oil
  • ½ medium onion, chopped
  • 3 cloves garlic, chopped
  • 1 celery stalk, chopped
  • 1 carrot, chopped
  • ½ lb ground beef
  • 1 14 oz. can crushed tomatoes
  • ¼ cup dry red wine
  • 3 tbsps parsley, chopped
  • 6 basil leaves, fresh, chopped
  • Salt and pepper
  • Grated Pecorino Romano cheese

Grab your spiralizer, if you have one, or a veggie peeler. Cut off the ends of the zucchini and spiralize or peel, catching all the “noodles” in a sheet pan. Grab a sauté pan and heat with half of the olive oil. Once it’s super fucking hot, add in half of the zucchini and cook for about 2 minutes, stirring n shit. Add some salt and pepper, cook another 2 minutes, then remove. Toss out any and all liquid in the pan, add the rest of your olive oil, and repeat with the rest of the zucchini noodles.

Meanwhile, in a large skillet, heat up your oil and, when it’s almost damn-fuckin-hot (like, nearly smoking), add in the onion and garlic and cook until the onion is translucent without burning the goddamn garlic.

Add in the celery and carrot and sauté for another 5 minutes before adding the beef. Cook over high heat, breaking that shit up into manageable pieces until it isn’t pink anymore. Add in the tomatoes, wine, parsley, basil, salt and pepper and cook until the sauce thickens in like, 15-20 mins. Remove from the heat and top your zoodles. Grate some fucking cheese over the top and BLAMO. 




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