Why Telling Your Casual Hookup How You Really Feel Isn't the Worst Idea Ever

By Miss Ameribetch

Sure, you may have started hooking up with a bro you didn’t exactly want to date, but as often happens when two people sleep together after a while, you may have actually developed feelings. Not giving AF is betchy, but falling for someone you routinely touch body parts with also doesn’t make you less of a betch. It literally just means nature is doing its job. Congrats, you’ve just discovered, like so many unhappy housewives before you, that sex bonds people emotionally. Not telling him how you feel, however, is not very betchy.

If you’re in a casual hook-up situationship, chances are you’ve thought about him being your boyfriend.  You may have even said something to your friends like, “He’s basically my boyfriend, but without the title.” Here’s the thing: if you’ve thought about it, he’s thought about it. For every time one of your girlfriends asked you, “So what are you guys?” or “Why don’t you guys just put a label on it?” one of his friends has probably asked him the same thing. Okay, make that for every 5 times, because let’s be honest, bros don’t talk about this shit as much we do. But they still talk about it a little. Which means he’s had to define your relationship to his friends.  Which also means he can fucking handle talking to you about it. 

In the same vein, if you have feelings for him and have wondered whether he feels the same about you, he’s also given this some thought. He is a bro living in the same world you are, and he’s (probably) not an idiot. This means that he either A) is on the same page as you and returns your feelings or B) doesn’t really give a shit but enjoys the sex. Either way, he’s considered his stance on this issue and just because you keep things ambiguous with each other doesn’t mean there isn’t an answer at the end of the day.

If you’re enjoying what’s going on, but you’d say "FUCK YEAH" if he asked you to be his girlfriend, then you should tell him how you feel. Because this means you want more than a casual hookup. And if we're really being honest, there is no such thing as “casual” after the three month mark. Waiting for him to bring up the subject is like getting robbed and then instead of calling the police, you hope the thief’s conscience kicks in and he returns your money with an apology. How often does that happen?  It’s not impossible, but uh, most people would call 911. His conscience isn't going to kick in; you need to make the call.  You don’t have to wait for him to tell you where you stand; you can tell him where you stand.

As a betch, you don’t wait in line at clubs, so why would you wait to “see what happens” in a relationship? It might feel like you’re giving up your power when you tell someone you like them, but staying in a casual relationship when you want more is the most powerless you can be.

If you tell him you’re into him and want to date, two things could happen. He could either admit that he feels the same way and say "LET’S DO IT", or he could admit that he’s not feeling it and wants to keep things casual. No matter what, he’s not going to say, “EW GROSS GET AWAY FROM ME I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN.” He’s already having sex with you, so if you’re okay with casual, you can go back to casual. In no universe is he going to want to stop having sex with you because you have feelings for him, so you either A) get what you want or B) go back to what you were doing.

Obviously, no self-respecting betch would really choose B, but the point is, you can. Which means you literally have nothing to lose.

Here’s the final reason why you should just pull the trigger on the feelings conversation: a betch has no interest in dating a bro that doesn’t want to date her. Just by telling him you want to date him (or whatever you feel), you’re allowing yourself to get over him if he says no. There’s no faster way to get over someone than find out they don’t think you’re a goddess. Because there’s plenty of people that do.




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