Conan O’Brien Had The Best One-Liners At The Oscars
Mr. Late Night has me giggling.
When I heard Conan O’Brien was going to be hosting the 97th Annual Academy Awards, I had to say I was more than a little intrigued, and not just because I couldn’t snooze through another Jimmy Kimmel round 17, or whatever. Conan has the old Late Night host charm that is hard to come by these days, but unlike the other Jimmy from New York, he’s not afraid to ruffle a few feathers for the sake of a laugh. And, I was correct! Conan brought the giggles to The Oscars in full force, including a musical number that I’m still trying to wrap my head around. Here are Conan O’Brien’s Best Jokes from the 2025 Oscars so you can save the lolz for later.
Conan O’Brien’s Best Jokes At The 2025 Golden Globes
Conan O’Brien’s Joke About Drake
Conan told a spicy joke about Drake’s beef (in and out of the court room) with Kendrick Lamar.
Ranking Conan O’Brien’s Best Jokes At The 2025 Golden Globes
1. Conan called out Karla Sofia Gascon’s heinous racist tweets controversy when he said, “Little fact for you. ‘Anora’ uses the F word 479 times. That’s three more than the record set by Karla Sofía Gascón’s publicist.” 10/10, no notes, except that he should’ve gone harder, TBH.
2. “If you haven’t seen Conclave, its log line is ‘a movie about the Catholic Church, but don’t worry’.”
3. “Antonio Banderas plays a man who doesn’t know how to give his wife an orgasm [in Babygirl]. He described it as the most challenging role of his career.” Conan nailed the joke by saying that Antonio should’ve consulted him.
4. As a follow-up to the Karla Twitter bit, Conan told Karla that if she was going to tweet mean things about the show tonight, she should remember his name is “Jimmy Kimmel.”
5. “A Complete Unknown, A Real Pain, Nosferatu. These were just some of the names I was called on the red carpet. I think two were fair.”
6. Conan spotlighted Adam Sandler in the audience wearing his classic basketball shorts and hoodie get-up. Adam made the moment a classic by getting in Timothée’s face and yelling, “Chalameeeeet.”
7. Conan showed headshots of Zoe Saldaña, Timothée Chalamet, and Guy Pearce after threatening winners whose speeches went too long. “If you still won’t get off the stage, I’m gonna play hardball. I’m going to show one of your old headshots.” Timmy’s was a sonogram of a fetus, naturally.
8. In a loud ode to The Substance, Conan was CGIed into Demi Moore’s body in one of the more graphic scenes from the movie, taking the place of Margaret Qualley. I mean, I chuckled, but “respecting the balance” has been done before several times this awards season.
9. The “I Won’t Waste Time” song was very cute, very mindful, but ultimately, it could’ve used bigger gags than a dancing Deadpool to make it stick.
10. “I loved The Brutalist. I really did. I didn’t want it to end. And luckily… it didn’t.”
11. “Timothée Chalamet is nominated for his portrayal of Bob Dylan. Bob Dylan wanted to be here tonight, but not that badly.”
12. “Now we’re halfway through the show, which means its time for Kendrick Lamar to come out and call Drake a pedophile. Don’t worry, I’m lawyered up.”
13. “If your speech goes too long, instead of playing you off with music, we’ll have something much more powerful. We’ll cut to John Lithgow in the audience looking not angry but slightly disappointed.”
14. Conan started with a precursor to the next set of jokes with the LAPD fire heroes on stage by saying, “There are some jokes even I’m not brave enough to tell.” Then an LAPD fire chief joked, “our hearts go out to everyone who lost their homes, meaning the producers of Joker 2.” Another LAPD fire personnel member mused that Timothée sung so well while playing Bob Dylan that “he almost lost the role.”
15. “We have the same genetic makeup, yet somehow he came out handsome: Cillian Murphy.”
Topics: Oscars
Marissa Dow