Talk about Sunday scaries… I was having a great weekend until I watched the April 20 episode of The Last of Us, “Through the Valley.” That soul-crushing episode ruined the vibes real fast! And on a sacred holiday (4/20) too. The gall. Mind you: We’re only two episodes into the season and the most shocking plot twist possible just happened. What the hell is gonna go down in the finale? How does a show go on without, like, the most important character? I have so many questions and I’m real pissed at the season 2 writers right now. For my fellow TV addict divas in distress, here’s a full breakdown of The Last of Us season 2 episode 2 and that disturbing death.

**Spoilers ahead**

The Last Of Us Season 2: Joel’s Death

Why Did They Kill Off Joel In The Last Of Us?

Image Credit: Warner Bros. Discovery

I fear this was always the plan, because the show is based on the video game and this is what happened in The Last of Us Part II, the 2020 video game season two. (Still, it was a shock to those of us who aren’t gamers and just watch the show for Pedro Pascal.) “What we try to do is preserve the aspects of canon that I would call load-bearing walls,” series co-creator Craig Mazin told IGN about using the game as a guide.

In the game and in the second episode of season 2, former Fireflies member Abby reveals that she’s the daughter of the surgeon who was supposed to operate on Ellie to find a cure for the cordyceps infection (and kill her in the process). Ya know… the surgeon Joel shot in the head. To avenge her father, Abby shoots Joel in the leg, impales him with a golf club, and finishes the job by punching him in the neck. Ellie, who’s being held hostage by Abby’s guys, witnesses the whole gruesome ordeal and has to watch her surrogate father die.

Why Is Pedro Pascal Leaving The Last Of Us?

Pedro was aware of his character’s fate when he initially signed on to the project. But even though he knew that his time as Joel would be finite, but he’s still just as devastated as we are. “It’s not like they said, ‘Hey, we kill you at the beginning of season 2,’” he told Entertainment Weekly. “But it was always an understanding that it would stay true to the source material in a specific way and that the, let’s say, practical and exclusive obligation would be for season 1. It was just a matter of how and when.”

The actor emphasized that he’s in “active denial” about the Joel’s death. Yeah, join the club. “I know that I’m forever bonded to so many members of the experience and just have to see them under different circumstances, but never will under the circumstances of playing Joel on The Last of Us,” he said. Pedro added that he tries not to think about it too much because it makes him sad.

BRB — I’m gonna go try to forget this happened.