Momfluencer Aspyn Ovard’s Use Of The Demure Trend To Set Boundaries Is Kinda Iconic

Momfluencer Aspyn Ovard is going viral for breaking her silence on her divorce through Jools LeBron’s “demure” trend. Aspyn’s 36-second-long video has over 25 million views and has become her most-watched piece of content on her TikTok page. In her video, Aspyn holds her newborn’s face away from the camera as she says, “You see how I don’t talk about my divorce online? Very demure, very mindful. You see how I considered my children and how it would affect them to have their family’s personal information shared all over the internet? Very smart, very good mom.”

Aspyn has been sharing her life on social media since launching her YouTube channel over 12 years ago at the age of 15. Her followers have seen her get engaged, married, and become a mom while she shares beauty tips, DIYs, and her outfits of the week. Now 28, a mom of three Cove, 4, Lola, 2, and her baby born in April (whose name she hasn’t shared yet, which is totally within her right, BTW) — Aspyn is now setting an important boundary.

On April 1st, as Aspyn shared, she had given birth — and no, it wasn’t an April Fools. There were rumors that she and her husband, Parker Ferris, were getting a divorce. Some publications got a hold of Salt Lake City, Utah’s court documents to confirm Aspyn had filed for divorce from Parker. Up until Aspyn hopped on the demure trend last week, neither she nor Parker had confirmed this filing. As Aspyn said in her TikTok, the media breaking the news about her filing before she could tell her audience was “very trashy” and “very tacky.” Especially since this news was spreading as her premature baby was fighting for its life in the NICU. Like, can you even imagine?!

More demure Momfluencers, please

Aside from her very demure TikTok and Parker being noticeably more absent from her content, Aspyn hasn’t said more about her divorce. And she doesn’t have to! In a world of TMI content with creators sharing intimate details about their failed dates, the most followed TikTokers flaunting their hangovers and reality dating shows leaving nothing to the imagination in the peak of brat girl summer — it’s SO refreshing to see ~mindful~ creators like Aspyn.

Just because Aspyn has been so open about her life to her audience in the past doesn’t mean she has to continue to do so, especially now as the mother of three young children navigating a divorce from her husband of almost 10 years. We have to remember that public figures — especially parents — don’t want to share intimate details about their lives for the sake of their kids. Imagine finding out your parents are getting a divorce through headlines as if your parents’ divorce isn’t traumatic enough!

We need to give public figures, especially moms, more space.

Look at Kate Middleton. She stepped away from the spotlight to privately deal with her cancer diagnosis. And while we didn’t know what was going on, we were so quick to spread conspiracies and jokes about her disappearance (looking at you, Kim K, who STILL hasn’t changed her “on my way to go find Kate” Instagram caption to her thirst trap). Kate later revealed she wasn’t ready to share this news to the world because she hadn’t told her young children yet. It sounds like Aspyn also doesn’t want to speak about her divorce because she hasn’t explained it to her young kids. Her oldest is only four! She probably doesn’t even know or understand what a divorce is or why daddy isn’t around as much anymore.

We have to respect what creators choose to share with us. Just because we’ve watched someone’s content over the years and have developed a parasocial relationship with them doesn’t mean they owe us all the private details of their lives; just ask Chappell Roan.

But is Aspyn really being demure?

Well, TBH… the demure trend isn’t entirely demure because if you truly encompassed the meaning of the word, you wouldn’t be posting anything on social media. But social media has become Aspyn’s job. She didn’t have to comment on the headlines, but she likely felt she had to, as she said in her TikTok, to “protect her peace,” hoping that followers would back off now that she said she’s not talking about it to protect her kids.

It’s refreshing to see a Momfluencer speak like this, as so many of them seem to be willing to exploit their children and their private lives for views, even though their kids are too young to consent or know what’s going on. Plus, there’s the creepy reality that most creators who post content with their children have an unsettling amount of older men as followers… but that’s another story.

So before you want to know more about a public figure’s private life, take a second and think to yourself: there’s probably a reason they’re not sharing this information with the world. And can we maybe stop sharing court filings before people have the chance to share the news on their own? Not very demure, not very considerate, not very mindful. As we enter pumpkin spice season, it’s time we shed our brat girl summer and embrace cozy, demure fall so we can all be very mindful, very cutesy, and very peaceful, just like our girl Aspyn.