A Super Serious Analysis Of What Your Favorite Emoji Says About You In Bed

Sex education in America is abysmal. If it wasn’t for watching Juno a million times, I wouldn’t know how to put a condom on a banana (true story). But more importantly, health class missed one crucial part of the curriculum: sexting. And I’m not just talking about sending an eggplant emoji and calling it a day. Behind every emoji is a secret, kinky world. You might’ve been walking around texting the cowboy hat face emoji to your grandma without realizing it’s the equivalent of coming out as a closeted bisexual. Humiliating!!! But have no fear. I have a very serious analysis of commonly used emojis to help you better understand your own desires. Here’s a breakdown of your sex personality based on your favorite emoji.

🤗 – Chronic masturbator and/or Italian (because you use your hands a lot!!!!)

🫡 – You think your a top but you’re a bottom

💦 – Overpromises, under delivers

🥲 – Praise kink

🤨 – Top

🥺 – Bottom

😅 – Service top who gets sweaty from effort

🫠 – Has never experienced an orgasm

👅 – You think you’re good at giving head (derogatory)

😏 – Switch bitch

🤠 – Closeted bisexual

😇 – The dirtiest, skankiest bitch around

🙂 – Virgin

🥸 – Into role play

🔥 – Sends sexts while sitting on the toilet

👼 – Just a girl

😈 – Has never taken a real risk in your life

🎀 – Pillow princess

😌 – BDSM brat

🥰 – Accidentally celibate

🥳 – Doesn’t do foreplay

💀 – Dry as a bone (most likely to hook up with party face emoji)

🤓 – Wants to be choked

🤪 – Giggles during sex because you’re uncomfortable with intimacy

🧐 – Cant find the clit