In the fun category of “shit I thought didn’t need to be explained,” apparently, there’s a new online debate about whether or not it’s acceptable to get engaged at someone else’s wedding. To be fair, the debate is basically the entire internet throwing virtual tomatoes at a groom who decided to get down on one knee at his friend’s wedding. And before you even try to defend this man, no, he did not ask for permission ahead of time, and it showed.

Now, before I scrolled upon this tacky mess, I personally thought this debate had already been put to rest when Brock and Scheana jumped the shark by trying to get married at James and Racquel’s engagement party on Vanderpump Rules (oh, the simpler times). But, no, apparently, some of y’all are still waking up under the adorable impression the world actually does revolve around you. (News flash, it revolves around Beyoncé!)

Here’s what happened with the viral groom who proposed at his friend’s wedding and why it’s considered rude AF to propose at a wedding.

Viral TikTok Drama Of A Proposal At A Wedding: Full Video, Explained

What happened after the groom proposed at his friend’s wedding?

In the video shared by the newly engaged bride-to-be (who identified herself to People Magazine as 23-year-old Alyssa Fowler after her TikTok popped off), the bride is visibly shocked when Alyssa’s boyfriend gets down on one knee at her reception. 24-year-old Josh Stepherson had the ring on him because, according to Alyssa, he had originally planned to propose the night before. But when the bride called for the single people to catch the bouquet, and Josh ended up catching it instead, he decided “in the moment” to ask Alyssa to marry him.

Why did the proposal at a wedding get backlash on TikTok?

Alyssa’s proposal (BTW, congrats, girlie!) got major backlash because the internet felt it took attention away from the bride and groom’s big day. It’s clear as day that the bride and groom weren’t clued into the “big surprise” by the shock on the bride’s face, which Alyssa tries to make right by asking, “Is this okay??” Yes, the bride said it was, but, um, WTF else could she have said when it was already happening in front of her guests?!

Ultimately, it seems the four friends are cool (at least they were that night), and the groom even seemed excited for his bro. But that doesn’t change the fact that the bride and groom’s celebration was hijacked on the one day that was supposed to be all about them. Not to mention, why the hell is a man messing up the bouquet toss, the one thing the single ladies get to enjoy at a wedding, in the first place?!

TikTok was so up in arms that Alyssa turned off the comments (and doubled down on her “beautiful” engagement in several videos since). But she admitted to People that this type of proposal is “typically not acceptable.”

Why is it considered rude to get engaged at someone’s wedding?

While the world doesn’t stop for anyone’s party (whether it’s a wedding, birthday, performance, or celebration of any kind), when someone is spending time and money to share an accomplishment, it’s only right to let them be the center of attention for the night if you’re choosing to support them by attending. It’s tacky, selfish, and awkward to take advantage of the moment someone else put in the effort to curate, especially given the hefty price tag that comes with throwing a wedding. TLDR: let people have things!!!

It’s okay (and encouraged) to get wrapped up in the magical love of someone else’s wedding (which I can’t stress enough how much they’ve likely paid to make you feel that way). But just like you would want the spotlight on you during your massive life milestone, pay it forward by being a villager for your friend at the moment instead of accidentally coming off like the village idiot.