In Absolute Defense Of Britani Bateman

I know that every rose has its thorns, but I’m starting to believe that every good Real Housewives girl gang has a Britani Bateman, too. Ever since the grown-up theatre kid belted her way onto the Salt Lake scene, she’s been ruffling the frosty feathers of pretty much the entire Real Housewives of Salt Lake City cast. Not to mention, fans at home can’t stop debating if the show is better off with or without Ms. Bateman grasping for a snowflake. Now I get it, Britani is a lot. But calling a Housewife a handful is about as original as declaring water wet. And after a season to really percolate on the freshman year performance of Jared Osmond’s twin flame, I have to say it: I’m so here for Britani Bateman’s brand of nonsense on RHOSLC, and the rest of the Bravoverse should be too. Hear me out!

Britani Bateman RHOSLC

The key to coming around on Britani’s Housewives era was realizing her shenanigans actually aren’t that deep; drama that doesn’t threaten to destroy the entire show dynamic is too much of a rarity on Bravo these days. Like, when Angie K said “bless Britani’s little heart,” I absolutely felt that. Because sorry, it’s objectively eye-roll and giggle worthy when Britani does silly goofy things like unironically wear a bikini under a peacoat. You have to laugh, but you also have to root for her because something about Britani’s finger-off-the-pulse approach is so pure. Will she ever get the proverbial “it” of fitting in the big leagues of Bravo? I’m not sure, and that’s why she’s so fun to watch!

Britani is a v necessary kind of friend to keep around in a group chat, on a girls’ trip, or on national television: the unintentional comedian. Britani brings a fish out of water, Kim Fields on RHOA sort of je ne sais quois to RHOSLC while simultaneously repping as Utah’s own Valerie Cherish (The Comeback hive assemble)! I, for one, would rather watch Britani’s bits that don’t land instead of, IDK, Whitney calling in strippers to reenact Jen Shah’s arrest from four seasons ago or Heather’s pre-planned punchlines in the confessional.

RHOSLC

While Britani’s thirst for attention can, ofc, get a little old (just ask Mary Cosby), her unbreakable earnestness is actually admirable, too. You have to love a Wife that shows how bad she wants to succeed at her job: That’s how we got the glorious Angie K renaissance of today, lest we forget! And with other Bravo franchises constantly straying into dark, or worse, dull, territory, I can’t help but appreciate the perpetual comedic relief that comes from Britani swinging and often missing (like when she brought up her engagement that didn’t happen all of five minutes into her screen time on season 6) or occasionally nailing it (like when she referenced her iconic filming faux-pas by bringing camcorders to the camping trip).

Speaking of the sprinter van screaming match heard round the world, it’s nice for the rest of the women to take a break from going at each other’s jugulars to unite against a trademark Britani hijink. Like when everyone was arguing about Lisa’s lawsuits around a picnic table, it was Britani’s irrelevant outburst that inadvertently brought the group back to earth. No, I’m not saying I want to see Britani get dunked on every week. But a temporary common enemy to cut the tension from bigger battles is pretty healthy, if you ask me, and 10 years ago I was a sociology minor! Not for nothing, Britani handles the hot seat pretty damn well (probably because in her world it’s interchangeable with the spotlight), and I will always have time for a Bravolebrity who can both dish it out and take it like a champ.

The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City - Season 6

Because of her willingness to earn her spot, I think Britani has real potential as a full-timer one day. Right now, BB is a diamond in the rough, showing signs of future skillful Housewifery. Britani knows how to direct the conversation towards the drama, even if she currently does so without a whole lot of grace or reading the room. Like, call me crazy, but it seems like Meredith Marks does well with a little Britney bark in her ear to keep her engaged. Britani has picked up on the importance of standing up for someone who isn’t in the room for balance, even when it comes off like sucking up to an OG (looking at you, Lisa Barlow). I don’t want to get too excited, but the first couple of episodes of Britani’s sophomore appearance have shown she now understands that sometimes the Britani show needs to pause so she can focus on taking accountability (like when she overstepped with coming for Whitney’s failed business).

I hope that Britani can grow beyond showing off her hot mess with Jared, because it seems like there could be a compelling story of a single mom with a heart of gold underneath the showboating. (BTW, when interviewing Britani on the red carpet at the LCCAs, her energy was giving sweet as pie.) But even if Britani’s reality TV run is more ephemeral shooting star than HOF material, Andy Cohen should still keep her around for at least another season or two. I’m okay with a splash of her brand of cringe on my screen, as long as she dabbles in Keranique, too! If only so that the cameras have ample Mary Cosby facial reactions to cut to.