Would You Drop $18K To Attend An Orgasm Retreat?

Hetero women have been struggling to get the orgasms they deserve for pretty much all of history (like, do you really trust that the cavemen were getting it done?). Finally, someone has come up with an answer, albeit a very expensive one. Kindergarten teacher turned Somatic sex educator Pamela Madsen’s “Back to the Body” retreat in SoCal comes with a v chill $18K price tag to teach women the secret sauce to getting off. Now, if I’m paying the cost of a Mini Kelly to get freaky in Joshua Tree, or as Pamela puts it learn how to “connect to our bodies without shame” to achieve “empowerment, pleasure, and freedom,” I’m going to need a very detailed (and itemized) itinerary to justify the hit to my bank account. Here are the secrets of the $18,000 orgasm retreat, in case you’re considering booking.

What happens at the $18,000 orgasm retreat?

Hand grabbing onto a white sheet

The vacation/sex workshop was designed to close the “significant gap in sexual education for women” as it relates to sexual pleasure. Pamela and her fellow certified professionals do this via “guided touch, breath work, movement, and soulful conversations to help women shed layers of shame and disconnection,” according to Vogue. The events could have the female participants use their “hands, toys, or other tools” to get closer to the goal of the big O, something many women (unjustly, might I add) have never felt before.

Not only is the top agenda item becoming sexually empowered, but also releasing trauma and stigma that can stop sex from being a positive experience.

Can certified somatic sex educators touch clients?

Massage therapist giving back massage

At the “Back to the Body” retreat, yes, the guides lead “one-way touch,” kept professional with gloves to “establish a boundary.” Pamela’s team told Vogue her clients use “voice, choice, breath, and sound” to speak up about what’s working and what’s not during a therapeutic session.

Does expensive sex therapy work?

Plenty of Pamela’s clients tell success stories following their time at the retreat. For example, a 47-year-old woman from San Francisco said she felt “more empowered, alive, and at ease” after realizing she was “in charge of cultivating [her] own erotic energy” through “table sessions.” Another 46-year-old from Canada poetically summed up the experience of finally being in touch with her body: “It’s like you’ve been walking around in this incredible sports car that no one has driven correctly. And suddenly someone knows how to drive your sports car, and you realize that the sports car that the world has told you is too small, too big, too fat, too hairy, and not enough was actually perfect all along.” Damn, sis, preach.

While you might not have a nest egg to drop on finding your inner erotica, the positive reviews from this extravagant workshop are just proof any work you can put into exploring your sensuality goes a hell of a long way.