Charli XCX and the It Girls for the chronically online are on the hunt for the “new hot internet girl.” So, um, where do I apply?
In the music video teaser for Charli XCX’s song, “360″ the girlies meet at a restaurant to fulfill the prophecy of finding the next hot internet girl, “or else our kind will cease to exist,” according to fellow internet hot girl Chloe Cherry.
“Yeah, it’s terrible,” Rachel Sennott drawls, channeling her self-obsessed character in Bodies, Bodies, Bodies. When Charlie XCX suggests the woman chugging wine at the end of the table, Rachel patronizes, “Oh, Charlie, that’s literally Julia Fox.”
The roster goes hard with Julia Fox, Rachel Sennott, Gabbriette, Chloe Cherry, and Richie Shazam. (Sadly, we’re missing Alex Corsani, the internet’s current hyperfixation, but I’m sure we’ll see her on TikTok later.) When else will we have so many thought leaders in one place? Certainly not the U.N. Hence, I did the due diligence of taking notes of what it takes to be a hot internet girl in a few simple steps so that girlies everywhere have a chance to go viral for bleaching their eyebrows. A girl can dream.
Translated literally, “je ne sais quoi” means, “I don’t know what.” It’s so chic, yet so meaningless. Perhaps a metaphor for internet culture.
The scary part is important. Hot people are so boring! You want to be weird hot — like how Jeremy Allen White kinda looks like a bird but has half the population willing to destroy their life for him. You get it. And if you don’t, c’est la vie. (Wow, there’s a weird amount of French in this article.)
I want to see your photos on a streetstyle account run by a guy who thinks Williamsburg is the epicenter of the universe. But make sure you’re tagged! How else am I going to hyperfixate on you?
If I had to elaborate on Rachel Sennott’s words of wisdom, the internet loves a hot girl who looks like she’s working really hard at something. “I can’t wait to tell you guys more about this project I’m working on” is a common catchphrase. This isn’t like a necessity, per say, but it did work out for the waiter in Charlie’s music video. Does anyone have her Insta handle btw? Kinda want to follow her.
