Dog Beds For Humans Exist And I Need One Immediately

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To say I’m obsessed with my dog is an understatement. Looking back, I’ve become what I’ve always feared — a “dog mom.” Not just like, a regular dog mom, but one who has a mug with their dog’s face on it (*shudders*) and a matching hat that’s embroidered with the cheugy title that I wear proudly IN PUBLIC. It’s honestly ironic because I always mocked my mom for being the kind of pet parent that went way over and beyond what a dog really needs in life to be happy — some kibble, a treat or two, and a tennis ball. Well.. She is me, I am her.

The one thing about my dog is that even though she’s perfect (duh) she has this tendency to never want to touch me. Like, I’ll literally call her over just to go in for a pet on the head and she’ll avoid my hand like that random kid from high school you pray doesn’t see you when roaming your hometown mall. It’s always me sprawling out on the floor in front of the TV because my dog can’t be bothered to get up on the couch with me. WTF is the point of having a dog if you literally have to chase them for the attention you never got as a child? I digress.

One night recently, where I was in bed (dog-free, obviously), feeling lonely and sorry for myself while scrolling until way past a reasonable hour when I saw a video of a person fluffing up a human-sized dog bed, boasting about the snuggle sesh they were about to have with their pet.

That was it, capitalism had succeeded. I was so immediately influenced that the speed at which I pulled out my credit card would have given any reasonable person whiplash. In my mind, this was the solution I’d been waiting for since puppyhood. And, if she still won’t lay with me in this giant bed, well at least I have the best seat in the house for movie nights.

Homguava Human-Sized Large Dog Bed for Adults And Pets

$199.99

Buy

When I tell you my husband and I literally fight over who gets to lay in the dog bed (not a sentence I ever thought I’d be writing). Forget the couch, this human-sized dog bed is the comfiest thing I’ve literally every laid on and I’ll never give up my rightful spot on it. I’ve even considered getting my dog her own bed (like this one from PetSmart) so I can have the human one all to myself.

It’s super plush with a faux fur cover and matching blanket making weekend naps the most euphoric moments of the week. The raised bolster around the edges lets you rest your head, no pillows necessary, to binge-watch Netflix until your forced to hit the condescending “yes, I’m still watching” button in peace. And, on top of all that, there really is room in there for your pet, should you want them (like me). And, universe really must have been looking out for me, because the cover is machine washable, and unlike all the other covid-pups, mine is not a Doodle. Needless to say, she sheds.

At the end of the day, I’m not going to say that this will forever cure the Sunday scaries, but it will make your living room floor a hell of a lot comfier. And, it brings back all those nostalgic memz of sleepovers and pillow forts on the floor which makes it 100p worth it.