I Asked Astrologists Why My Saturn Return Is Fucking Up My Life (And If I’ll Be Okay)

At any given moment, the planets are sitting at a specific longitude in the sky — including the day you were born. Astrologists say the way those planets move throughout your life directly connects to the events that unfold in it. And one of the most infamous of those planetary movements is your Saturn Return.

It takes Saturn anywhere from 27 to 29 years to loop back to the exact spot it was in when you were born. Translation: sometime between your 27th and 29th birthdays, Saturn comes home — and a whole lot of shit tends to hit the fan.

My Saturn Return started just a few months ago, and honestly? It came swinging.

“The return of a planet signifies a renewal,” Chelsea Jackson, astrologist at Taimi, tells Betches. Because Saturn takes so long to return, she explains, it only happens twice in a lifetime. “Because this happens so rarely, it tends to hold a lot of weight and pack a severe punch.”

She wasn’t lying. Since my Saturn Return began, I’ve moved apartments, totaled my car in an accident, landed a soul-sucking job, and then promptly got laid off from that job — leaving me unemployed, financially unstable, and terrified I was about to lose everything.

And yet, somehow, I feel… calm. Like things are crumbling exactly the way they’re supposed to.

“Saturn is the planet that governs over structure, discipline, commitments — the things that we build that take time to mature,” Jackson explains. “The way that things decay, expire, and die prompts us with questions about how long structure can exist — and if it needs to die so that new ones can be developed.”

Image Credit: Getty Images

The first Saturn Return, which hits right before you turn 30, comes when you’re still close enough to your family’s beliefs that it’s hard to untangle what’s yours versus what was projected onto you. “It’s the turning point in adulthood,” Jackson says. “You’re starting to make your own rules. And with that can come many challenges.”

For me, those challenges came hard and fast. I knew by my mid-20s that I didn’t want the traditional path my family expected of me. Instead of the doctor-lawyer-engineer pipeline my Pakistani parents dreamed up (followed by marriage and kids), I chose journalism. Not just journalism — but writing about sex and relationships. And I did it all while being single, 28, living alone, and openly uninterested in having children.

In my early 20s, that choice felt exciting and full of possibility. But after my first layoff at 25, I fell into what felt like a never-ending rut. These past few months? It feels like the universe hit the fast-forward button on that rut and cranked up the intensity.

Lisa Stardust, astrologer and author of Saturn Return Survival Guide: Navigating this cosmic rite of passage, wasn’t surprised when I told her what I’d been through.

“When I had my Saturn Return, I basically had, like, a really hard time,” she says. “I was between jobs and situationships, and basically, I kind of switched careers at that time to focus on astrology.”

She adds: “My Saturn Return was really pivotal in my life, because it made me think about who is in my life and what I need to do to course correct — with people, with my career, with my future.”

At the end of the day, Stardust says, Saturn Returns are unavoidable, but deeply personal.

“The thing about a Saturn Return is that it’s going to affect everyone in different ways,” she says. “It’s not going to be similar for everybody. But what we can say is that it will have an impact on how you augment your life. Whatever support you lean on, whatever sign or house your Saturn sits in — it’s going to be a catalyst for your personal growth as you enter cosmic adulthood.”

And while “cosmic adulthood” sounds terrifying, Stardust promises there’s light at the end of the tunnel. “Everything’s going to be okay for you. But like, are you going to be stressed? Yeah, you’re a Capricorn, you know? So I would just say, like, choose some more self-care stuff for yourself.”

Her biggest advice? Stop fighting it.

“I always say to people, go with the flow. The one thing that’s really important is that you can’t resist change,” Stardust says. “It’s coming, no matter how much we all hate it. The reason why is because we’re creatures of comfort. We get stuck in our routines. We like consistency. It’s okay if things get crazy — let them get crazy. Let them fall apart. Think of this as Humpty Dumpty. But if Humpty Dumpty was able to regenerate and repair things to make them better.”

So, will I be okay? According to both Jackson and Stardust — yes. But “okay” doesn’t mean Saturn leaves you unscathed.

“There’s a lot of negativity surrounding a Saturn Return and fear mongering with astrology,” Jackson says. “It’s not something to be afraid of. You have been living with Saturn your whole life. We all have Saturn sitting in our chart. We have to answer to or embrace the energy outside of a Saturn Return. Often, it’s the devil you know. It’s not exactly a time of surprises — it’s something that you already sense deep down.”

And she’s right. The past two years of my life felt swallowed up in apathy. I lost excitement for the future — and, scarier, the present. Even when I landed my last job (which I knew wasn’t right for me), I couldn’t relax into it. And looking back at it now, it’s probably because it only came into my life to show me exactly what I didn’t want from my life.

But now, even with my future (and rent) hanging in the balance, I feel a strange sense of hope. That apathy is cracking, and in its place is possibility. I have the chance — or maybe the obligation — to rebuild something amazing from scratch.

Both Jackson and Stardust explain that Saturn isn’t here to make things easy. It’s here to stress-test your life, burn down the pieces that don’t serve you, and push you to rebuild better.

I, for one, am ready for better.