Ladies, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but someone has to say it: one-night stands are just not worth it. And before you come for me, let me be clear — I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with casual sex. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with hooking up with someone you’re not in love with… or even someone you don’t know well enough to like. If that’s your vibe, I fully support it. But let’s be honest: in most cases, a random man you just met is not going to give you the night of your life. He’s going to give you the sexual equivalent of an Uber ride — functional, forgettable, and a little overpriced for what you actually got.
For most straight women, a sexual experience is typically only positive when a man actually cares about your pleasure. And if you think a man you just met at a bar — who probably had to be reminded to tip his bartender — is going to suddenly become invested in your orgasm, I have bad news for you. The reality is that most men have been conditioned to see sex as something they take rather than something they share. And when men don’t care about you, they basically use your body to masturbate.
I wish I was joking. But think about it: their goal is to get off. There’s no effort to learn your body, no curiosity about what you like, and no self-awareness that just jackhammering away isn’t a personality trait. And you? You’re left doing unpaid labor in the form of faking moans and convincing yourself that maybe, just maybe, he was actually decent. (He wasn’t.)
The baseline for women in sex is typically that we’re givers — conditioned to be accommodating, to prioritize the guy’s pleasure, to not ask for too much. I mean, how many of us go through life thinking sex is done whenever the man finishes? The baseline for men, on the other hand: They only care about getting themselves off. Of course, there are exceptions, but do you really think the guy who texts “u up?” instead of forming full sentences is one of them? Let’s be real for a second here.
The math just isn’t mathing here. You’re bringing an entire experience to the table — effort, lingerie, skincare, possibly a Brazilian wax — while he’s bringing… what? A five-second warm-up and the audacity to fall asleep before you even finish processing — how mid was that?
And let’s talk about the risk. One-night stands already come with a level of danger — STIs, potential creepiness, and the absolute horror of running into him the next day. And for what? A man who doesn’t know where the clit is? Unless you’re hooking up with a literal expert, a man who’s a complete stranger to you is also a stranger to your body. He doesn’t know what you like. He doesn’t know how to touch you. Hell, he probably doesn’t even know how to put on a condom properly.
I’m not saying you need to have been having sex with someone for years to enjoy it, but you at least need a man who’s invested in doing it well. And the odds of a one-night stand being worth it — especially for a woman — are about as low as a straight man actually admitting he enjoys giving head. So unless you’re in the mood to roll the dice on a night that’s 90% awkward, 9% “Is this even working?”, and 1% fun, maybe just go home and use your vibrator instead.
Topics: Relationships, Sex & Co.
Syeda Khaula Saad