I Miss Dating Apps Because I Need Constant Attention And Validation

I’ll admit it. I’ve been in a healthy, stable, and successful two-year relationship (boooo!), but I miss nothing more than strangers complimenting me on Hinge. My profile was banging. My pictures? Adorable. My prompts? Hilarious. My response time? Near perfect. I figured out the ideal algorithm for getting compliments no matter what time of day. And my perfectly curated profile must’ve worked because after one very active year on the apps, I locked someone in, but there’s still a piece of me that feeds on attention from strangers.

Every once in a while, I crave a “Wow, you’re my soulmate” comment from a twenty-something who works at SpaceX. Or an “lol so true” from a finance bro in Santa Monica. Sure, my boyfriend can compliment me whenever I want, but it’s just not the same. He’s my boyfriend, and these strange men are thirsty for their next drink: a tall glass of me.

When asked, “Am I addicted to dating apps?” I’d hesitantly say no. I’ve never paid for Hinge Premium to send a rose to one of the hottest men I’ve ever seen. However, I did spend $20 a month for Raya. And that’s a massive waste of time and money because, as we all know, it’s just wanna-be influencers and DJs.(No, I’m still not bitter about waiting for a reply from Larmone Morris).

But dating apps provide a dopamine boost that not even a slice of cake can give me. And I love cake. It’s the same mind-numbing phenomenon as watching TikTok videos and Instagram Reels while sitting on your toilet at 6 p.m., then re-entering the world at 3 a.m., and you’re like, “Woah, what happened?” You scroll, you laugh, you like, you continue. And this can go on for hours.

I feel 10 percent better about myself when some CAA mailroom clerk says I’m hilarious and have pretty blue eyes. And I’m not alone in this feeling. Dating app addiction is a real thing, and it’s affecting many singles all around the world — so much so that there are now class action lawsuits against dating subscriptions for “gamifying” their apps. In February six plaintiffs filed a lawsuit against Match Group, owner of Tinder and Hinge, claiming their “predatory” apps incite “compulsive” use.

Content creator Amelia Samson said it best in her TikTok: “An app designed to be deleted shouldn’t have a six month membership option.” There’s always one more swipe; if you keep going, you may find your soulmate. So the question remains, why do I crave attention from total strangers if I may have already met mine?

Perhaps it’s that addicting gambling-like feeling. Or an internalized need for male validation. Hell, it could even be my low self-esteem! All I know is that going forward, I’ll take my attention and validation from those who matter: my therapist, Instagram comments, and of course, my loving boyfriend. Worst case, I’ll get myself a slice of cake.