Isn’t it funny (and by funny, I mean super sad) that you have a ton of hot, nasty sex in an effort to get pregnant, then after popping the lil parasite out of your vagina (or via c-section, which, yes, is just as hard and worthy!), getting it in sounds scary at best and agonizing at worst. That’s when you’re faced with the whole: “When/how should I have sex again?” situation. Granted, something going *into* your vagina might sound like a nightmare, but that’s why knowing the best postpartum sex positions come into play. Because, hi, just because they had to stitch up your vag, that doesn’t mean it’s useless forever, fam.
While there’s no Hard and Fast (heh) timeline of *when* you’ll be cleared for sex, Tiffany Pham, MD, an OB-GYN and medical advisor at Flo Health, tells Betches the typical timeframe is about 4-6 weeks postpartum. “That might seem incredibly fast for some couples,” adds sexual wellness expert and head of communications at MysteryVibe, Natasha Marie Narkiewicz. “Just because you’re medically cleared to have penetrative sex, that doesn’t mean you’ll want to. Your body has undergone a tremendous feat and continues to endure new changes during breastfeeding, postpartum recovery, and caring for and bonding with your baby. It’s normal if sex isn’t even a thought while you adjust to a new normal.”
So, basically, take as longgggg as you need before hopping back in the metaphorical saddle. And when you *do* finally feel prepared (and get cleared by your doctor, of course), Narkiewicz says to go slow, communicate with your partner, and use lots and lots (and lots!) of lube. If you need some guidance, here are a few of the best postpartum sex positions for new moms that’ll make hooking up again seem a little more desirable and a little less like something you’d rather fake your own death to avoid.
Whether you’re a fan of missionary sex or find it to be a little ~vanilla,~ it’s honestly the go-to for anyone trying to bone postpartum. Lay back and have your partner slowly (and I mean snail-pace slow) enter you, telling them how you feel every millimeter of insertion. Odds are you won’t want them to go as deep as they did before you got knocked up, so tap out if/when things start to feel uncomfortable. “Take it at your own pace,” Narkiewicz says. “Use lots of lubricant to mitigate vaginal dryness from hormonal changes, and spend plenty of time in foreplay—more time than you think.” Also? After all the work you did to bring literal life into this world, it’s totally your prerogative to just lie there like a corpse and give notes, mmk?
If you’re trying to get laid while your little one is napping, there’s no better move than the spoon. “The spooning sex position is a popular one for postpartum women as it’s less physically demanding on the body and provides mild depth and pressure of penetration,” Narkiewicz explains. To do it, curl up on your side (à la the little spoon) while your partner enters you from behind in the big spoon position. The good news? You’re literally lying in the fetal position in bed, so you can catch a little snooze if the sex isn’t yet pre-baby caliber. All you gotta do is close your legs, push your partner off you, and dream about the days you weren’t responsible for another human life. Sleepgasms count here, people!
Even if the thought of postpartum sex doesn’t make you cringe, there’s still the issue of when TF you’re supposed to squeeze some orgasms in. You see, once your little crotch monster sweet blessing arrives, getting laid typically moves embarrassingly far down on the priority list. That’s why multitasking is key to getting it in and getting your shit done. While being taken from behind whilst washing a million fucking bottles might seem like a no-brainer, you’ll likely want something that gives you a bit more control. “Woman on top is a popular choice because it gives the postpartum woman control over depth, speed, and rhythm, which is essential after childbirth,” Narkiewicz says. Try cowgirl (or reverse, if you’re feeling feisty) while folding laundry and pumping to embrace all that is the overworked modern mom.
Jumping right into penetration can be intimidating postpartum, so start solo and work your way to the more invasive positions. Grab your favorite vibrator for a little ~*you time,*~ and see what a few minutes of clit-massaging does for ya. Narkiewicz recommends the Legato, an external vulva and labia vibe that can not only get you off ASAP but can be worn *during* penetrative sex to make the transition easier and more pleasurable. Oh, and if postpartum dryness is something you’ve been blessed with, this beaut can help get the juices flowing again, whether you invite your partner to join or not.
Again, literally no need to go from pushing a baby out to having your partner push themselves on in. In fact, Dr. Pham highly recommends starting with foreplay and oral sex before anything goes up inside ya. “Penetrative sex may be uncomfortable or painful, so try other techniques to help achieve orgasm first,” she says. That means stretching out, spreading your legs, and letting your partner do all the work. Oh, and feel free to double down and ask for seconds and thirds — doctor’s orders.
Whether you can wait to get laid or the idea of your vagina being touched sounds like a deep circle of hell, there’s hope that you’ll have painless (and maybe even pleasurable) sex postpartum. Take it slow, communicate your needs, and remember: Your body took 9+ months to create life — it’s okay if you need more than six weeks to feel comfortable about *anything* getting up in your goodies again. You’ve earned a little touch-free R&R, mama. Take it.
