Last night, I gathered with the girls to enjoy the Bad Bunny concert, and I was vaguely aware that there was football happening before and after that. Even the most dedicated football fanatics out there can probably agree that the football part of the night was a real snoozefest — the Seattle Seahawks crushed the New England Patriots in a 29-13 game, and there wasn’t a close score for even 30 seconds of the night. Fortunately, the music segments, surprise celeb appearances, and a few of the ads provided all the excitement I needed. (And I also had a great time consuming a frightening amount of chicken wings and brownies.) Without further ado, let’s unpack the epic highs and lows of high school football Super Bowl 60.

Super Bowl 60 Recap: Highs, Lows, And Whoas

Highs

Benito, Benito, Benito. This perfect man took me on a breathtaking journey to Puerto Rico, to heaven, and randomly, to Canada. Y’all know he’s Canada down! (That’s a Tate McRae Olympics joke.) But in all seriousness, the once-in-a-generation artist gave the sharp, playful, moving performance we all expected — while paying tribute to Puerto Rico and making it very clear that love will always win over hate. Our king looked unreal in a suave, all-white custom Zara fit, and he brought out Ricky Martin and Lady Gaga (more on that later) as surprise guests. Several A-listers, including Pedro Pascal and Cardi B, were hanging out in his casita throughout the performance. Between the insanely intricate set and the high-energy choreo, there was never a dull moment. The whole halftime show was a party, a powerful statement, and basically a religious experience.

Let’s also give Sabrina Carpenter, Charli XCX, and Rachel Sennott their flowers for saving the ad portion of the evening! In a hilarious Pringles commercial, Sabrina decides to build a man out of the classic chips after a few too many dating fails. Her beau is ultimately destroyed by overexcited fans, but Sabrina gets to enjoy his tasty remains… I’m sure there’s a meaningful message there if you think about it. And after that vibey Charli and Rachel Poppi spot, I’m feeling motivated to restock. If only these queens had magically appeared to turn my college classes into BRAT-coded parties.

Lows

There is a time and place for Charlie Puth… bar mitzvahs, weddings, the radio, your 2016 nostalgia playlist, etc. No shade, but I feel like the Super Bowl national anthem is maybe not one of those Charlie Puth times. The singer/songwriter/producer gave it his all and even had the support of a piano and a whole choir, but he’s not able to serve the vocal gymnastics I’m looking for in the anthem. I’m gonna need a diva with a four-octave range to take it on next year. Sabrina, Chappell, Olivias (Rodrigo or Dean), Ariana, looking at you all.

Many of my brain cells died a violent death as I watched the AI ads last night. I personally do not GAF about the OpenAI vs. Anthropic beef, and neither of their spots were remotely inspiring. OpenAI’s showed a future full of robots, and Anthropic basically just promised they won’t be incorporating ads. Can we bring back commercials for, like, ~non-artificial~ things? Thanks.

Unfort, I’m gonna have to add the football itself to this category. I realize that’s a broad generalization, but I wish the Patriots had put up just a little bit of a fight, so I wasn’t spending all my before and after Bad Bunny time yawning and checking X for celeb sightings.

Whoas

Alix Earle randomly appearing at the casita (with Pedro Pascal, Jessica Alba, Cardi B, Young Miko, and Karol G) was a real “Ariana what are you doing here?” moment. Was she the diversity hire to represent white blonde girls? Was she there because she’s low-key dating the king of the Patriots himself, Tom Brady? (They were spotted dancing together at a Super Bowl party yesterday.) Is she secretly besties with Bad Bunny? I have questions. Truly no one could have guessed that a few college GRWMs could lead you all the way to the Super Bowl stage.

Speaking of surprise white woman appearances, can’t say I expected Lady Gaga to be a guest performer! In fact, I probably would’ve guessed at least 25 or 30 artists before getting to her. “Mind if a white girl speaks a little español tonight?” she asked, just before singing. Kidding, kidding. The pop queen didn’t opt for a Bad Bunny cover, a cover of any Spanish song, or even “Alejandro” from her own discography. Nope, she went for a salsa-infused version of “Die with a Smile.” While I’m not sure that song needed to be included in this halftime show, she obviously smashed the vocals, and her little dancey-dance with Bad Bunny warmed my heart.