Fuck It, A Ranked Tattoo Tour Of The ‘Love Island’ Season 7 Men

With just a few episodes, I was instantly locked into season 7 of Love Island USA. This cast is giving a good amount of drama (on and off screen), so it didn’t take long to become endeared to our Islander OGs. In ogling the male Islanders, who frankly are a solid-looking bunch (a gift we very rudely don’t always receive), my eyes did eventually wander to the body art some of our boys have acquired over the years. And after sizing up some of these tattoos, I have a lot of questions, but mainly: huh? So, for viewers studying these reality stars like Mona Lisa in the Louvre for the rest of the summer, here’s a tattoo ranking of the Love Island USA season 7 male cast. And, let’s remember, even if this ink is (IMO) a little bit silly, these dudes are still hotties, so all’s well that ends well!

Austin

At first glance, Austin’s two Cupids under his clavicle are honestly kinda cute. In a bootleg Boys Lie kind of way, IYKYK. But tell me why one of the Cupids is pointing an AK47 at his MOM tattoo (that looks like the artist drew a Valentine’s Day SweetTart from memory)?? Even more uncomfy for Mom, there is a befreckled, big-breasted biddie sipping on a beverage on his abdomen. Who is she, pool boy? Do the female Islanders have someone to worry about?!

Ace

So, let’s address the elephant, or rather, the lion in the room. Ace has a king of the jungle nose to nose, with a little boy wearing a crown across his pecks. Unless he’s keeping children under wraps like Huda, a nephew or fictional kiddo on his chest is a little extra! Ace also has what looks like a crucified Jesus, Michael Jackson’s eyes, a Raiders logo, and an eight ball in the mix, just to keep it interesting.

Ace Love Island back tattoo

Still, I fully blinked my eyes like a cartoon character when I saw that God’s Child (another tat) has his name, Ace, in MASSIVE letters tattooed across his back… in circus font, no less! The tat is accompanied by matching playing cards. I guess if he ever gets lost shirtless on a beach or something, his future Love Island girlfriend and the lifeguards won’t have trouble finding him.

Taylor

Oh boy, this one’s a real doozy. Taylor’s right shoulder reads “APE SHALL NOT KILL APE” next to a picture of a chimpanzee, of course. I say “of course” because this is a well-known quote from the film franchise Planet of the Apes, and I get that, technically, it’s a positive message about protecting each other. Still, I can’t for the life of me fathom why a man (a Black man, no less) wants the word ape branded in ink on his chest not once but twice, but go off film king, I guess.

Taylor has lots of other ink (including a red “ACE” on his shins lolz), but considering how tame those pieces are in comparison, I’ll leave it there.