Chappell Roan sat down with Alex Cooper for another podcast episode of Call Her Daddy, and to no one’s surprise, things were said. Chappell spilled about her relationship status, thoughts on pop stars’ responsibility to politics, and her opinion on why having a kid is really not her vibe right now. Why is this controversial? Well, her comments seemed less focused on the joys of being child-free (IKTR) and more about her strong opinions on the quality of life of those who do have children and families, like her friends back home in Indiana. Chappell is no stranger to a bit of controversy outside the studio (like the time she demanded boundaries with a capital B), but upsetting the mama bears was not one I saw coming. Here’s a grownup breakdown of Chappell Roan’s comments on motherhood.

Chappell Roan On Motherhood

After Alex Cooper asked Chappell if she was still close with her home friends, Chappell said yes, even though “they have such different lives” because “a lot of them are married with children” and “have their own houses” which Chappell doesn’t believe is “realistic” for her now, if ever. She went on to say that even if it is still legal to marry a woman in the distant dystopian future, “all of [her] friends who have kids are in hell.” Chappell expanded these thoughts, quipping that she “actually [doesn’t] know anyone who’s like happy and has children at this age.” (Chappell is 27 years old, for context.) She finished her thought by sharing, “Anyone who has, like, light in their eyes, anyone who has slept,” is probs not married with kids.

Why are people offended by Chappell Roan’s comments about motherhood?

Chappell’s comments implied, from her POV, that young people are experiencing disappointment not just with raising kids but settling down (buying a house, getting married, etc.) in general. Even though calling parenthood exhausting, sleep-depriving work is pretty par for the course, some of Chappell’s harsher language (calling parenthood “hell” or flat-out antithetical to happiness, for example) has rubbed some moms the wrong way. One mom wrote on TikTok that the idea of defining motherhood as miserable was the most “immature and tired trope” stated in an “immature and flippant way.” Another mom explained in a v passionate video that she doesn’t conflate her “hard work” and “hard days” to hell because of the payoff, like moments when her child says “love you, mom” or relaxes from feeling safe in her presence.

On the other hand, some fans are quick to point out that Chappell was speaking about her particular friend group and her perspective of their lives, which doesn’t necessarily have to apply to all moms everywhere, even if her wording was pretty black and white. For all we know, Chappell’s friends have expressly told her they’re unhappy with the growing pains of their lives right now (at least, let’s hope so, because the group chat might’ve gotten real awkward real quick, if not).