Show Me Your Spotify Daylist And I’ll Show You How Unwell I Am

Forget Spotify Wrapped and Sound Town, the music app that acts as my daily horoscope has come out with a new way to hyper-analyze my embarrassing taste. Spotify Daylist is a curated playlist based on the big feelings we experience throughout the day. But what if they were actually honest… You listened to sunshine and tribal sacrifice on Sunday evenings? Here’s some forest blues while you rock back and forth in bed. Here are some playlist ideas for free! You’re welcome.

Note from Spotify: If none of these relate to you please get a fucking CD player, your chaotic taste is ruining our algorithm.

1. Screaming Into The White Noise Machine Monday Morning
2. Perpetual Rage We Ride Tuesday At Dawn Spin Class
3. Ruminating Over The 2024 Election (100 BPM)
4. Denial About The 2000s Being 20 Years Ago Wednesday Lunch With The New Intern
5. Manifesting Being A “Chill Girl” Laid Back Afternoon
6. Fucking Up A TikTok Recipe Friday Night Alone
7. Organized Religion Piano Hymns Are U There God? Friday Night Bender
8. Nostalgic For Serotonin Sunday Evening
9. Single But Not Desperate Enough To Go Out Saturday Night
10. Period Cramp Or ER Visit? Sunday Evening
11. Just Left Therapy And Walked Right Into Snowfall Tuesday Afternoon
12. One Leg Out Of Blanket Thursday At 3 A.M.
13. Influenced Into Making a Sourdough Starter and Hating Myself For It Sunday Morning
14. Everyone Is Mad At Me Monday Morning Orchestra
15. What Is That McDonald’s Bag Doing On My Nightstand Sunday Morning
16. Late To Work With Cold Brew In Hand Tuesday Morning
17. Permashifting In Lecture Thursday Afternoon
18. Standing In Line At A Packed Trader Joe’s Sunday Night Emocore
19. Cloying Narcissist Indie That Sounds Like Your Ex Situationship
20. Like Noah Kahan But Angry For Wasting Away Your 20’s Saturday 2 P.M.
21. Cozy Idle Vibes For Searching Your Hinge Match’s High School Soccer Team
22. I’m Never Going To Find A Job 2 A.M. Existential Pop Punk
23. Pregaming The Function With Social Anxiety And Arctic Monkey Dupes Friday 11 P.M.
24. Executive Dysfunction Decision Paralysis Sunday Night
25. Optimistically Withering Away Wednesday Afternoon
26. Delicate Baby Girl Discovers Showtunes Saturday
27. Romanticizing My Life Holding A Coffee Mug Watching The Snow Sunday Morning
28. Stick To The Status Quo Bedroom Bangers For Mostly Missionary Monday
29. Walking By The River Pretending To Be Adele Lunchtime
30. My Happiness Is a Commodity Sunday Night Dinner
31. Good Vibes Sung By Hot People While You Fuck Up Make Up Tutorial Tuesday
32. Situationship Not Texting You Back Tracy Chapman Covers
33. Young And Free Yet Heavily Burdened By Rent First Day Of The Month
34. Gregorian Chant Hot Girl Doom Scroll Evening