Why Are Holiday Hookups Landing People In The ER?

It’s the most wonderful time of the year — unless, you know, you’re spending it in the ER explaining how your holiday sexy time went wrong. Turns out, the holiday season doesn’t just bring tinsel and eggnog, it also sees a massive spike in sex-related injuries — no, really. According to a new study by FeetFinder, a site where you can buy and sell feet pics, searches for “penile fracture” rose by a jaw-dropping (or penis-breaking, in this case) 234% last Christmas. Yes, you read that right. Apparently, the holidays are really inspiring people to get frisky and risky, and it’s landing them in the ER for it.

So, what’s going on? Is it the mistletoe? The eggnog? Or something about Santa’s “naughty list” energy? Why is Christmas becoming the unofficial season of sex booboos?

Why Are Sex Injuries Spiking During The Holidays?

Image Credit: Fox

So that 234% spike on “penile fracture” searches, sounds like an oddly specific search, right? Well, it’s not the only injury people are Googling. Searches for terms like “pulled muscle during sex,” “injury during sex,” and “swelling after sex” also see a significant bump during the holiday season, according to Google Keyword Planner.

Why the sudden surge? Experts believe it’s the perfect storm of festive vibes, extra alcohol, and the pressure to make the holidays special. People feel more adventurous, whether it’s trying new positions, incorporating toys, or leaning into holiday-themed role-play (because who doesn’t want to be Santa’s naughty little helper, right?). And listen, experimentation and being risky — these aren’t bad things. What’s probably happening is that people feel a lot of pressure to be “extra sexy” for the holidays and end up doing something totally new and outside of their comfort zone without really discussing it with their partner or doing much planning (or stretching).

Some sex positions can actually be really dangerous if you don’t do research and talk it out first. And trying to be sexy and surprising someone into doing something you’ve never tried before might not always yield such great results.

So, Who’s Getting Hurt?

While penile fractures seem to be the most common sex injuries, it was also found that sex toy-related injuries happen a lot during the holidays too. According to the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC), more than 45,000 people were treated for sex toy injuries in the past decade. I’m so sorry if this makes you rethink using that new toy you just bought.

So women are more likely to experience “mishaps” with sex toys until the age of 40, after which men definitely take the lead. But when it comes to who’s most at risk of a sex-toy related injury, it’s typically anyone aged 20 to 24. My guess is that the youngins feel like they have to amp up the “sexy” for their partners during the holidays and end up using a new toy very wrong.

How To Have Safe Sex During The Holidays (And We Don’t Mean Condoms)

Nobody’s saying you shouldn’t spice things up this Christmas — who doesn’t love a little festive bang? But let’s be real: the best gift you can give yourself (and your partner) is avoiding a trip to the ER. Because although it’ll probably make for the funniest story ever, who wants to have to explain to a doctor how they hurt themselves during sex? Exactly. Here’s how to keep things safe.

Communicate

Talk about boundaries and comfort levels before diving into anything new. Trying to flip your partner into a shape without warning in the hopes to be sexy can end up taking a very bad turn.

Take It Slow

Experimentation is fun, but rushing into things can lead to accidents. If you’re contorting your body into a new position or using a toy that just looks like a scary foreign scary object, take all the time in the world. When it comes to sex, slower is better anyway.

Use Toys Properly

Sure, some sex toys seem pretty straight-forward. But if you’re using something that looks like you need a booklet to work it, going in without prepping can end very badly. There’s nothing sexier than someone who knows their stuff before sex, so get to learning.

Watch the Eggnog

I’m sure a lot of these Christmas sex-accidents happen because someone had a little too much eggnog, which is why you should probably steer clear of alcohol before trying anything new in bed. Alcohol lowers inhibitions, but it also increases the chances of a mishap.