PSA: What I Wish I Knew Before Traveling With My Boyfriend For The 1st Time

My ex and I were an awful pairing that broke up every few business days. That relationship feels like a lifetime ago, but I easily remember when we finally traveled internationally together. Why? Because it was fucking terrible — mainly because it was the worst relationship anyone could be in — but also due to a few crucial mistakes we made before deciding to travel together.

“Traveling with your S.O. for the very first time is a major milestone in a relationship for a number of reasons,” dating expert Alessandra Conti tells Betches. “Someone can be delightful on dates that last a few hours, but it’s difficult to see a partner’s full personality — the good, the bad, and the ugly, until you travel with them.”

Because hindsight is 20/20, I can look back at those trips and recognize where we went wrong. I hope I can impart some wisdom so that you’re not stuck in a foreign country, crying, unable to speak the language, and alone in a dark hotel room — or, you know, so that you have a good time.

“On dates, typically there is higher energy and a heightened experience, whereas on a trip, there needs to be a variation of highs and lows energetically; one person may get tired after eating, another may require more sleep than the other, etc.” Conti explains. “It’s important to experience these changes in a person and see how they navigate a changing environment.”

Here are a few things I wish I knew before traveling with a significant other that you should consider before booking that flight.

Actually, Plan Things To Do

Even though I planned a pretty stocked itinerary — including restaurant and pee stops — for when my ex visited me in Morocco, he decided to have nothing planned for when I came to China. I spent most of my time in a hotel room doing nothing. So, make sure you make a complete plan, so you’re not bored out of your mind!

Try To Get A Bathroom With A Door

In one of the rooms we stayed in in Morocco, a curtain only separated the bathroom. Even after six years together, I hadn’t so much as even farted in front of my partner (at least while I was awake), so we got into a mini argument because I was trying to convince him to leave the room so that I could poop in peace.

Bring Headphones

You will want a little alone time no matter how much you like your partner. So bring headphones so that you can go off and wander on your own whenever you like. Headphones can also come in handy when you’re sitting on the hour-long Uber ride from the airport to the hotel, and despite not seeing each other for months, your partner decides to stay on the phone with friends for the entire ride. Too specific? Well, pack them just in case.

Please Don’t Go Through Their Stuff, Trust Me

Don’t let the bad thoughts take over when you’re in another country trying to have a good time. For example, don’t decide to go through his stuff and find an army-sized box of condoms that he was definitely using with other people because you were on birth control. And especially, don’t go through their stuff on the first day of the trip — it sets a pretty sour note for the rest of the trip.

Make Sure They Like You

Before you decide to hop on a plane with a partner and go somewhere new, make sure they actually like you. This can help avoid a lot of other issues that might come up on the trip.

Make Sure You Like Them

If the sight of the other person makes you want to spit on their face (and not in a sexy way), I’d suggest maybe not going on the trip… and I’d also suggest breaking up ASAP.