PSA: Stop Sleeping On Slutty Men, Sleep With Them Instead

Typically, men with thousands of followers on Instagram who take any (and I mean any) opportunity to take their shirts off are a walking red flag. With every gym selfie and video of him blowing hookah smoke into the camera, everything in your nervous system screams out,” NO!” — like an evolutionary adaptation women have developed over the years to protect themselves from mental distress. But what if I told you that instead of blocking that man and doing a protective spell over your coochie… you should fuck him instead? What if I told you that sleeping with that slutty, slutty man is going to be the most exciting, erotic, and orgasm-inducing time of your life? How do I know? Because I had the best sex of my life with the sluttiest man I’ve ever met.

By my mid-twenties, I had been in and out of relationships, situationships, and hookups, and no matter what the circumstances were, I just did not feel satisfied. Don’t get me wrong, I was having pretty decent and pleasurable sex, but just not the type of sex I really wanted to have. Until I met… let’s call him Pecks.

Pecks and I had been friends for a few years through a mutual friend, and we had a quick and easy friendship. We weren’t that close, but we’d text occasionally, and because we were both self-proclaimed sluts, our conversations often turned to our different sexcapades and being impressed by each other’s sex lives. We were flirty for sure, but we never really crossed the line with each other because we just really respected one another. Okay, and also because we always had something (and someone) else going on. Until we didn’t.

Oh, and I forgot to mention — Pecks was hot as fuck. Not just the average oh-he-doesn’t-take-great-pictures-of-himself guy you think is attractive, but your friends will only politely nod. I mean, he was sculpted like a Greek god. And his face? Ugh. It was unfair. And after a few too many Jack and cokes, I didn’t stand a chance. After a slightly unhinged drunk text later, we finally decided to sleep together.

Image Credit: etro-Goldwyn-Mayer

We started hooking up, and right away, the sex was something out of a movie. And I don’t mean something cringe and super awkward like 50 Shades of Grey. I’m talking about the real, disgusting, beautiful, earth-shattering sex like in Mr. and Mrs. Smith (except with ethnic people). I mean, the first time we had sex, this man picked me up in the air and fucked me. Usually, the first time having sex with someone is a little uncomfortable and kinda weird, but with Pecks, it was instant chemistry. And every time after that, it just got better and better.

I’ve always been on the more experimental side when it came to sex. I have been writing about sex and relationships for years, I have boxes (yes, plural) of sex toys, and am always doing deep dives on different kinks. And even though my libido has always been as high as my curiosity, I had never found a partner whose horniness matched mine.

We had sex on every surface you could imagine and even the ones you couldn’t. We used blindfolds, handcuffs, strokers, vibrators, poppers, flavored lubes, mouthwatering mints, and flogs. We did it in every position, and we’d do it for hours, and whenever either of us finished, we’d just keep going again and again. We made sex tapes that I struggled not to sell or leak because they were that good. One time, Pecks hogtied me in like 45 seconds and fucked me til I came. I almost asked him to marry me on the spot.

Image Credit: Netflix

And when we weren’t having sex (which was rare), we were talking about sex. We talked about the sex we had with other people, what we liked about it, and what we’d change. He didn’t make me feel weird about my sexual baggage because, hey, he had a matching set and a carry-on of his own. And all the talking about sex just made the actual sex even better. Go figure.

And while the situationship or whatever it was didn’t work out in the end, I got to spend a year having mind-blowing sex with someone as slutty as me. And it was life-changing. So much so that I am now the president of the I-Love-Slutty-Men fan club. And I think you should all join.

It’s common sense, really. A slutty man, or a “ran-through man,” if you will, has had a lot of experience. And where some people might be turned off by the idea of a “high body count” or a guy who has a lot of sex, I, for one, say to embrace it.

One, I am a trend follower, okay? When I see a bunch of people on TikTok talking about a lip gloss they swear by or their favorite workout leggings, I want to hop on the bandwagon. So when I know that a bunch of women have slept with a man (and especially if they came back for seconds and thirds), I want some of that.

Secondly, a man with experience is someone I want to fuck — assuming that he’s actually learning from each woman he’s with and trying to improve his sex game as he goes. When a man has more experience, he tends to pick up on the fact that different women like different things. He also typically figures out there there can be much more to sex than just missionary and doggy style.

Image Credit: Lionsgate Television

Now, before you show up at my home with pitchforks and the DSM-5, there are a few stipulations to this. One, the man needs to not be a douchebag. I know, super hot, nice guys are rare, but I promise they’re out there. And if you see one, fuck him.

And two, you must be okay knowing that sometimes hooking up may just be hooking up. Sure, can the slutty man be the love of your life? Absolutely, and congrats, girl, I’m jealous. But is he always going to be? Sorry, no.

Suppose you’re dumb enough to end up actually liking the slutty man and wanting to date him (hi, my name is Syeda). In that case, you’re going to have to keep some serious coping mechanisms in your back pocket for when you wake up to the fact that the slutty man does not want just you and is, as advertised, slutty. But in the meantime, lay back (or on top) and enjoy the ride.

Not only did I have some of the most exciting and intimate sex in my life (did I mention the ropes?), but now I also know that I don’t have to settle with someone when it comes to the sex department. When looking for future partners, I can find someone who matches my sexual energy without feeling shamed. So slutty men, please apply.