When Should I Give Up Trying To Impress My Future In-Laws?

Meeting your partner’s parents can feel like navigating a minefield while blindfolded and wearing heels. One wrong move, and boom — there goes any hope of a smooth holiday season. But when Nobody Wants This gave us the absolute cringefest of Rabbi Noah trying (and failing) to impress Joanne’s super chill parents, followed by Joanne getting steamrolled by Noah’s super judgy mom, it made me wonder: when should you just stop trying to impress your partner’s parents?

Let’s break it down: there’s a difference between making a solid effort and losing your mind trying to win over people who will never be satisfied. Spoiler alert: you can only try so hard before you end up throwing on a sports coat over basketball shorts and speaking in a fake Italian accent. (Yes, that actually happened.)

Image Credit: Netflix

When Trying Too Hard Gives You (And Your Partner) The Ick

In Nobody Wants This, Noah does the absolute most when he meets Joanne’s parents, and it is… brutal. Picture this: Noah, adorable rabbi and all, rolls up to dinner in basketball shorts, a hoodie, and what he calls a “sports coat.” (Why are men like this?!) Not only that, but he brings the biggest, most obnoxious bouquet of sunflowers for Joanne’s mom, who is fully baffled by the gesture. Then, in a moment of pure panic, he starts speaking in an Italian accent — because that’s how you impress chill, normal (potential) in-laws, right? Ugh.

Joanne is immediately icked out by the whole display because, tbh, it was giving “high school boy meeting his first girlfriend’s parents.” And honestly, she was right to feel that way. Here’s the thing: her parents are totally laid-back, not at all the type to expect their daughter’s boyfriend to show up with a floral arrangement that looks like it came straight from the sun itself. And yet, Noah’s trying so hard to make an impression that he tanks his own vibe — and Joanne’s interest (momentarily, of course). Lesson? Sometimes, less is way, way more.

How To Know When It’s Time To Tap Out

Now, let’s talk about Joanne’s disaster of a meeting with Noah’s family. Joanne tries so hard to impress Noah’s strict, judgmental mom, Bina, and I mean, really tries. But it quickly becomes clear that Bina is not here for Joanne’s energy — especially when Joanne, completely unaware, brings literal pork to the dinner table. Cue Bina’s horror as Joanne tries to defend herself (in her defense, she didn’t know prosciutto was pork). But it doesn’t stop there. Bina then tears into Joanne about her podcast (which, FYI, is about sex and relationships, so you can imagine how well that went over). It’s so bad, Bina straight-up storms away from the table in a rage.

When Joanne goes to apologize, she finds Bina sneaking prosciutto out of the trash, which — LOL. Instead of tattling, Joanne brilliantly uses this moment to her advantage and gets the family to believe Bina has suddenly done a 180 and actually likes her. It works… sort of. Bina plays nice, but as Joanne leaves, Bina whispers in her ear that she’s never going to end up with Noah. Yikes.

This moment teaches us an equally important lesson: if your partner’s parent already doesn’t like you, stop jumping through hoops to win them over. You might just end up serving prosciutto to a Jewish mother and watching her storm off from the dinner table. Oops.

Basically, Just Read The Room

If Nobody Wants This taught us anything about trying to impress parents, it’s that sometimes, no matter how hard you try, it’s just not gonna work. The key? Read the room. If your partner’s parents are chill, like Joanne’s, then maybe leave the Italian accent and giant bouquets at home. You don’t need to put on a show. Be yourself. If they don’t like you, that’s a them problem.

But if your partner’s parent is like Bina — strict, judgmental, and holding out for some perfect fantasy spouse that you’ll never live up to — save yourself the stress. You can bend over backwards and still get a backhanded compliment (or, you know, a whisper in your ear that says, “You’ll never marry my child.”).

So, when should you stop trying to impress your partner’s parents? The answer is simple: when it stops feeling authentic to you and starts feeling like a Broadway audition. If they don’t like you for who you are, why are you trying so hard to get their approval? You’re dating their kid, not them.