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Topics: Entertainment
Marissa Dow
You know that feeling when you see a pug teeter-tottering down the street and it’s such an odd-looking little creature you kinda sorta feel compelled to squeeze its little face until it explodes? That’s basically what happens when I look at half the actors trending in Hollywood right now, and for the record, that’s not a bad thing. The concept of “weird-hot” has likely been around since the dawn of time, when the first cave girl picked the first outcast cave boy to procreate with despite her besties’ protests. In Saltburn Barry Keoghan made us focus more on his eight-pack than the fact that his character is the most unhinged serial killer England never knew existed. Jeremy Allen White has half of the female population waking up in the middle of the night to scream yes chef, and he’s not the only one from The Bear to make the cut. Daryl McCormack investigating the Garvey sisters made me check the probability I could establish Irish citizenship. Don’t recognize that last name? Then you’re in the right place. Buckle up and go refill your Stanely because you’re about be realllll thirsty from this list of weird hot actors.
If you look closely at the Irish soap star’s face you may or may not start to realize he low-key resembles England’s own Sir Rowan Atkinson AKA Mr. Bean. That’s not going to stop me from getting lost in those green eyes for hours, though. Daryl if you’re reading this, I’d like to apply to be your next Bad Sister.
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The hit show is serving up quirky kings of all varieties, not just Jeremy Allen White. From L-Boy who plays Marcus to Ebon Moss-Bachrach who plays Cousin and especially with the addition of Will Poulter (who I’d have no ragrets about being locked in the back room with), I bet it’s hot in that kitchen and not just from grease fires. Can we get these boys in a group GQ photoshoot, pronto?
Mike may become a familiar face after the release of his upcoming film Challengers with Zendaya, but he’s been dancing around in my head since his big-screen debut in Steven Spielberg’s West Side Story all while I fully acknowledge he’d be the perfect casting choice for Sid in a live-action version of Toy Story.
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Once again, thank God for Ireland. Maybe I really do need to figure out how to pull an Ayo Ediberi and become an honorary princess. Until then I’ll keep rewatching Cillian’s incredible (and creepy) work playing unhinged criminals who terrorize (usually) fictional communities.
While Donald is naturally a pretty normal-looking dude, his aura of absurdness earns him a spot on this roster of weirdos. It takes a v twisted mind to come up with half of the fantasies Childish Gambino has delivered on screen but that’s not necessarily a bad thing when the lights go out, yanno?
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Since his early days as Landry in Friday Night Lights, Jesse Plemmons has had a little something going on that’s only grown with time. Maybe it’s the fact that he and Kirsten Dunst have the cutest relationship. Nothing is a bigger turn-on than a man knowing how to keep his lady happy.
Thirsting after Ryan Gosling’s Ken? Tired. Searching the screen for Jamie Demetriou running around as one of the Mattel bad guys in the Barbie chase scene? Wired! Jamie is not only the walking personification of ‘I don’t know what to do with my hands’ but is also quietly one of the funniest goofy comedians infiltrating Hollywood. If you don’t believe me, dive into his filmography. By the time you get to his run as Bus Rodent on Fleabag you’ll have a crush on a man rocking false teeth.
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The Westworld alum has a seriously judgy nerd glare that could turn men to stone. I feel like he would read me for filth, then make me a cup of tea, and whatever happens after that, happens.
This list, of course, would not be complete without including Hannah Horvath’s best boyfriend (prove me wrong, Fran sucked). Adam Driver is a founding father of the weird hot community. Though this discourse on whether or not he is the sexiest man to walk the planet is very divisive, I think we can all agree his ability to throw a woman over his shoulder without a second thought makes us wish for days when men would go to war and stuff.
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Some people have resting bitch face, Jason has resting “I’m about to make an unsolicited weird noise to interrupt your train of thought” face. Here’s the thing though…the oddball characters he voices for adult cartoons are always unnervingly sexual. Idk if it’s his voice or the inexplicable urge his baby soft curls invite to run your hands through them, but Jason is weird and hot and that’s just that.
Outside of having a royal-sounding name (hot), Kingsley Ben-Adir has a whole painfully polite British wallflower thing going on that we simply love. Softspoken men? Yes, more, please. After showing off his guns in Barbie, if Greta Gerwig’s proposal to make Kingsley the next James Bond turns into a reality, we’ll be sat.
Hear me out. If you watched House of the Dragon you’d understand (and if you’ve been stanning since Doctor Who I tip my hat to you). He’s got no eyebrows and too much dom energy to not be daddy — sorry, I don’t make the rules!
In a very AP history teacher who makes PTA unapproved banter during class but has a solid nuclear family unit at home that we’re societally conditioned to yearn for in our loins during puberty type of way. Plus the man A) knows Bravo and B) is doing more to inform the public than everyone on CNN combined. For that homeboy can like get it.
Listen, the girls that get it… are deranged. But you must be represented in this forum nonetheless. Nathan Fielder and his thousand-yard stare are proof humor will get you everywhere, fellas.
If his performance as Roman Roy does something for you, I respectfully advise therapy ASAP but like, you’re not entirely wrong. That little gremlin smirk/slick back combo? Hot!
At this point does anything more need to be said to defend Barry Keoghan’s raw sexual appeal? No, but I will anyway. Lord forgive me but I want to drown in an Irish Sea of the sweat and self-tan dripping off of Barry during that GQ boxing shoot. Or come back in my next life as the pigeon. Whatever works.
And none for Pete Davidson! Bye.