Dr. Nicole Martin Scrubs In On What To Do When Motherhood Doesn’t Go According To Plan
Bringing a child into the world in 2024 is as challenging as it has ever been, but it’s still a “magical and amazing thing.” Just ask Dr. Nicole Martin, who spoke with Betches after announcing her step back from The Real Housewives of Miami. The award-winning anesthesiologist (who knows how to give a reality TV read just as easily as a pulse check) shared with the world on September 13, 2024, that she had “started to suffer from significant postpartum anxiety.” This followed the birth of her second child, Genevieve, earlier that year in March. Though fans (it’s me, I’m fans) were disappointed their favorite outspoken operator would be missing from RHOM season 7, Dr. Nicole has opened up off camera about this new phase of her life.
As we settled in for our chat, it was hard to miss Dr. Nicole radiating Miami sunshine through the screen despite the serious subject up for discussion. That’s probably because the reality star was “happy to share [her] story” since “there is a little bit of a stigma or a fear of judgment surrounding mental health.” It’s estimated that one in five women will deal with post-partum anxiety and Dr. Nicole feels this stigma stops women from feeling comfortable reaching out for help. Which is why we talked about all the things moms and Real Housewives stans alike are dying to know: how to recognize when you’re not yourself, learning to delegate through mom guilt, and of course an update on where she stands with the Miami crew.
RHOM Dr. Nicole On Managing Post-Partum Life
Betches: As a doctor, how did your first pregnancy match your expectations?
Dr. Nicole: My first pregnancy was pretty uneventful. We didn’t have any hiccups — my son got to go home with us. It was pretty much as textbook of a delivery as one could expect, so I was very lucky in that sense.
We always hear about how the second pregnancy moves a lot quicker.
I definitely had a bigger belly. I felt like it was more obvious that I was pregnant sooner with Genevieve than with Grayson — she is a strong personality already!
How was your second pregnancy different?
[My second] pregnancy was very different…I went into preterm labor, six weeks ahead of schedule. They tried for three days, IV fluids, medications, and she was coming no matter what they did. So we elected to have an emergency C-section at 35 weeks, and obviously, she was preterm. She was in the NICU for almost two weeks, and that was kind of the perfect storm. A stressful delivery and a child’s stay in the NICU are two risk factors [for post-partum anxiety], so looking back on it, it was almost like the perfect setting. I just didn’t know it at the time.
Was there a particular moment where you remember being like, “I actually need to talk to someone about how I’m feeling?”
About a week after she was born I woke up at around three in the morning, and I was dripping sweat. My heart was racing. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I woke up Anthony, and I remember looking at him, and I was like, “Something’s wrong. I don’t feel good. I feel like my heart’s going to jump out of my chest.”
As a doctor, I’m like “What is happening?” I went through a differential diagnosis in my head, trying to figure out what I was feeling. (At the time Dr. Martin thought she could be experiencing a fever from a C-section infection or feeling side effects from her milk coming in). Looking back, I think it was a panic attack. I just felt my daughter was in the NICU and I wasn’t sure what was going on [because] I was home. I wasn’t with her, I was recovering from a C-section, and I was hormonal. It’s all the telltale signs of a panic attack.
What have been some of the highs that have carried you through the lows?
I think all the milestones with Genevieve, and Grayson, who just started kindergarten. All those special moments make the harder moments better, but I think therapy is huge. I’m very blessed to have a wonderful partner, great friends, an amazing family that have all been incredibly supportive.
Your relationship with Anthony is so cute. On the show, we always see him being super supportive of you, so how has he been through all of this?
He has honestly been great. That day when I was sitting on the floor of the shower at 3:00 in the morning, he was Googling. He was like, “I’m reading here that you can have night sweats postpartum,” and he’s always helpful. There are some partners that feel very strong one way or another when it comes to breastfeeding, and he was very open to whatever makes [me] happy. He’s very understanding, incredibly supportive, and not judgmental, which is huge when you’re going through this. A lot of us women, when you’re not feeling the way you expect it to feel, I think you feel bad about it. You feel like you’re going to be judged by other people…so to have a partner that’s completely non-judgmental and you can speak with openly is huge.
Any idea when you guys might start to think about planning your wedding, and will Bravo be invited?
It’s funny, we were actually talking about this the other day. We were laying in bed talking about the move, and then we were like, “Oh, you know what? The house would actually be amazing to do a wedding at,” because it does have a very spectacular backyard. Then we [realized] if we do it in Miami, we’re going to have to invite so many people so maybe it’s better we do a destination wedding. Nothing is set in stone yet. I think we’re trying to get into the [new] house, get settled, get over this newborn baby hump. We’re definitely doing much better, so maybe for 2025.
Have any of the Miami housewives been supportive since you shared your choice not to return back to the show quite yet?
I think they all reached out. We have a group text, and everybody commented on it. Obviously, Guerdy is one of my very dear friends. We talk, I don’t know, a few times a week at least. I just think they’re filming now, so they’re busy. Lisa, we’ve texted a few times here and there. I’m kind of trying to step away from that right now.
Are there any tools you can share with other moms who might be going through this?
What I’ve really learned is that you can’t fill from an empty cup, and if you are sleep-deprived, running on empty, there is no way for you to take care of yourself or take care of others. That’s why, when you get on the airplane, they tell you to put your mask on first before you help other people.
I really had to take a moment and be like, “Okay. I need to focus on myself for a little bit. I need to talk to someone. I need to get rest.” We hired a baby nurse, that’s been amazing. Shifting the focus that I don’t have to do everything [helped]. I can delegate. If I miss a feeding, nothing’s going to happen. If I can’t keep breastfeeding or pumping, it’s okay. Coming to terms with a lot of those things has really helped.
Topics: Bravo, Entertainment, Moms, Real Housewives
Marissa Dow