All The Shitty Statements The Royals Have Given About Kate So Far

I’ll admit it: I did not foresee 2024 being the year of the Kate Middleton Abdominal Surgery/Rumored BBL/Mysterious Disappearance. The royal family never fails to keep things interesting — and neither does Twitter (excuse me, X.) Ever since the palace told the public that the Princess of Wales underwent abdominal surgery, we’ve had our concerns. No, we’re not all British citizens, but we’re citizens of the world, and we are compassionate and caring. The girlies wanna know if the Princess Girlie is okay!

There were no further details regarding the exact type of surgery or how serious it was, so curiosity started to grow. Kate not being seen for weeks only fueled more and more theories about her condition. Was it really abdominal surgery? Was it a Brazilian butt lift? Was she in a coma? At times like these, it’s crucial to look at all the evidence available to us and do some old-fashioned analysis. Here’s everything the royal family has said about Kate in 2024 so far.

January 17 – The Palace Revealed Kate Had Abdominal Surgery

With the statement that started it all, the palace informed the public that Kate had had a procedure. “Her Royal Highness The Princess of Wales was admitted to the hospital yesterday for planned abdominal surgery,” the wrote. “The surgery was successful and it is expected that she will remain in hospital for ten to fourteen days, before returning home to continue her recovery. Based on the current medical advice, she is unlikely to return to public duties until after Easter.” They noted that although Kate “appreciates the interest this statement will generate,” she wishes that her “personal medical information remains private.” Little did they know the frenzy that was coming…

January 29 – They Said Kate Is Recovering From Surgery

Almost two weeks later, they tried to put worried followers at ease. “The Princess of Wales has returned home to Windsor to continue her recovery from surgery,” the next statement reads. “She is making good progress.” The statement included a thank you to the team at The London Clinic, where she was treated for… who knows at this point. “The Wales family continues to be grateful for the well wishes they have received from around the world,” the palace concluded. It’s definitely generous to classify the Kate internet chatter as “well wishes.”

February 29 – A Spokesperson For Kate Responded To The Rumors About her

This is when the palace started getting extremely annoyed with the chronically online crew. A spokesperson for Princess Kate said, “We were very clear from the outset that the Princess of Wales was out until after Easter and Kensington Palace would only be providing updates when something was significant.” They added that she is “doing well.” Personally, I’m on the edge of my seat, waiting for the next “significant” update.

March 6 – Prince William Weighed In On The Kate Rumors

What is Prince William’s opinion on his wife’s alleged BBL and induced coma, you ask? A spokesman for the Prince of Wales told People, “His focus is on his work and not on social media.” I’d say that is probably for the best right now.