Are you ready to enter the Sneaky Links Motel? I fucking am!!!

I live on a steady diet of Netflix dating shows like Love is Blind, Too Hot to Handle, Perfect Match, and The Ultimatum. But Netflix — bless them — decided to roll out YET ANOTHER ITERATION OF HOT PPL FALLING FOR HOT PPL AND HAVING TRUST ISSUES. Revolutionary, genuinely.

Sneaky Links: Dating After Dark brings in several hot singles… and their sneaky links. Over 10 episodes (set in some timeless limbo, apparently), they work with a dating expert to decide if they want to make it official or jump ship for someone else’s sneaky link… or one of the unattached singles entering the villa. It’s chaotic, and I fucking love it.

Who are the contestants on Sneaky Links: Dating After Dark? Let’s dig in.

Sneaky Links: Dating After Dark Cast Breakdown

Chloe Veitch (Host)

Netflix knew what they were doing assigning Chloe Veitch to host Sneaky Links, and it gives me hope we’ll eventually see Georgia Hassarati with her own dating show — plzzz give it to me!!!

Chloe is a seasoned reality TV pro. She appeared on Too Hot to Handle, The Circle, and Perfect Match and has had her fair share of on-screen entanglements. But this time, she’s not falling for any toxic red flags — she’s hosting and guiding the singles through the chaos.

Instagram: @chloeveitchofficial

Spicy Mari (Dating Expert)

Now for an actual expert — someone who, like, knows psychology and shit. Enter Spicy Mari: “relationship coach,” “magnetic matchmaker,” and self-proclaimed “Blaxican Queen.” Slay.

She’s here to help these situationships find the gold beneath all the trash. Pray for her.

Instagram: @spicymari

Sneaky Links

Angelique

Image Credit: Netflix

30 years old and not afraid to cry on camera — like, a lot. She’s a law student and entered the villa with Travis as her sneaky link. Will she leave with love or just some iconic friendships? (Honestly, just as good, IMO.)

Instagram: @angelique_wx

Travis

Angelique’s boy toy. Travis is an account executive (sounds fake) who somehow pulls off a cowboy hat. His Instagram bio is giving… nothing. “Presidents office, this is Travis 📞” and “A Friend”? He calls himself a poet — please apply that energy to your bio, king.

Instagram: @takecaretrav

Nicole S.

Image Credit: Netflix

Love Is Blind’s Micah’s doppelgänger has entered the chat!! Nicole S. (yes, there are multiple Nicoles — this is reality TV) is a 28-year-old marketing director who makes a bandage dress look effortlessly slay. She came in with Brandon.

Instagram: @nicolekserrano (seemingly removed)

Brandon

Brandon, babe. You’re probably a great guy but you are triggering me — AHHHH! He’s a 27-year-old nightclub owner (🚩), has a good bod, and definitely knows it — maybe too much. Peace and love, Brando.

Instagram: @brandonlimeres

Samira

Mommy Samira is 24, works in sales and social media management, and has a big heart. I’m experiencing a bit of bi panic here so I’m going to leave it at that. She entered the villa with Manny… but I’m here too.

Instagram: @samiravaalentina

Manny

I want to hate Samira’s sneaky link, but he’s a travel nurse. Idk what that fully means, but I’m choosing to believe it’s very Doctors Without Borders energy. He’s 26 and his IG is exactly what ChatGPT would generate for a Netflix reality star.

Instagram: @mannythecolombian

Avery

Avery is a 26-year-old Nashville girlie and tech recruiter who isn’t afraid to post two nearly identical pics back to back. She came in with Colt and, honestly, I respect the vibe.

Instagram: @averywadbrook

Colt

32, freelance model and sales consultant, and blessed with baby-soft skin. He came in with Avery as his sneaky link and gives off that mysterious-hot-artsy-dude energy. Kelsey, thoughts??

Instagram: @coltfason

Nicole V.

Our second Nicole is 28, brunette, and would 100% blend into any given season of The Bachelor. She’s a training director — which either means she trains directors or directs training. TBD. She’s here with Logan.

Instagram: @nicolevinsonn

Logan

I am super sensitive to the energy of Instagram handles, and this one is really giving me bad juju. Nomad Prince? The Nomad Prince? Is this A Cinderella Story? He’s a 31-year-old personal trainer and armed security specialist. I’m keeping an eye on this one.

Instagram: @thenomadprince

Zoe

Zoe is a 29-year-old fashion brand owner and materials research/sourcing specialist (say that three times fast). She came in with Kyle and has one of those chaotic Insta handles that makes me long for simple first-lastname usernames. She’s a fittie though.

Instagram: @imyournewcrush

Kyle

Every villa needs an artsy bro. This one’s Kyle — 29, photographer, been sneaky linking with Zoe. His IG is very moody creative, and don’t even dream of being featured on it.

Instagram: @xbykyle

Late Check-Ins

Corinthian

Image Credit: Netflix

Cool name alert! Corinthian is 33, a “fitness and business coach” (could mean literally anything), and has eyes that may or may not hypnotize me through the screen.

Instagram: @iamcorinthian

David

CONTENT CREATOR/MUSICIAN! GIRL, RUN!!! As Taylor once said: “I think I’ve seen this film before.” He’s 27 and has pivoted from sex songs to Jesus songs. I personally prefer the former, but maybe that’s just me.

Instagram: @onlyferris

Justin

A 27-year-old pro basketball player enters single. In this economy? Okay. But his Insta bio says: “You’ll Figure it out.” Figure what out, Justin?? Also, why is “Figure” capitalized?

Instagram: @bustinjriggs

Kelsey

Kelsey from Nashville in a cowboy hat — checks out. Pretty blondes make excellent sneaky links, I don’t make the rules. She’s a fashion website manager and model. How is she working two jobs when I can barely handle one?? She’s 24 and makes me feel 40.

Instagram: @kelsey.tomlin

Jacie

Uh oh, Kelsey — another hot blonde in the house. Jacie is a 26-year-old bartender from Florida, which is a power combo of chaos. You know what they say about bartenders…

Instagram: @jacieallain

Lulu

Our youngest girlie in the villa. Lulu is a Playboy bunny/model, which… I didn’t know was still a thing, but I’m obsessed for her. Go link up with David, maybe?

Instagram: @theluluwilliams